I found EdenFantasys in July of 2011. My first visit to the website was to purchase a couple of gag gifts for my partner -- nothing more. At that point in my life, I had not tried a sex toy before and really didn’t have any burning desire to start.

About a month later, I saw that my mother (yes, my mom) was browsing the Eden Community. I saw something pop up on her screen. Being the nosey person that I am, I took a closer look and asked her what she was doing. She told me that she got points for participation in the community and she could use the points for discounts on her orders.

I was absolutely intrigued by the idea of discounts on my orders. The order I had made a month earlier with the couple of gag gifts for my partner had a shipping fee of $16, which was basically the same price as the products themselves. I live in Canada, so any little bit helps when it comes to discounted shipping. I signed up immediately.

When I first joined, I was terribly uneducated. I was the member who asked, “Won’t glass break when inside of you?” and “won’t wooden dildos give you splinters?” I had no idea which lubricants were compatible with which materials. To be honest, I really didn’t think it mattered. If you had asked me what “phthalate free” was, I probably would have guessed that it was some new diet fad. I’m not even joking.

Being a member of the EdenFantasys community has really made me more knowledgeable of products, materials, and sex in general. The website has an abundance of information on safety and the community forum members are always willing to explain things to a new member, even if the question has been asked before. Now almost a year later, I’m mentoring students who are new to the site and have the same questions and concerns that I had.

The second thing that I’ve gained by being a member of EdenFantasys is numerous friendships. Not many people know this but I struggle with anxiety. I don’t go out very often because of this. The more I participated in the forums and other activities on the website, the quicker I made friends. I really didn’t expect to make friends when I but the friendships I have made are invaluable.

Every so often, I get little messages just asking how my day was. The encouragement and kindness of the friends I have made through being a member has really helped me through my struggles. More often than not, I’ll be having a down day and my Eden friends always cheer me up. My Eden friends are like my second family.

The third (and most important) thing that I’ve gained is sexual confidence. The knowledge I’ve gained, the confidence other members portray, forum discussions, and reading the SexIs articles have all contributed to my boost in confidence. I’m more confident with my body, my performance, with experimenting, and with our bedroom activities.

As I mentioned, I never used toys before becoming a member. Both masturbation and sex were good, but not mind-blowing. Introducing toys into our bedroom has changed a lot of things for my partner and I. We were (and still are) able to experiment with new things in the bedroom and more often than not, the results were positive.

We’ve learned a lot about our own bodies as well as each other’s. If you were to ask my partner what he loves most about EdenFantasys, he’d quickly say the confidence that I’ve gained. The more confidence I have, the better the bedroom play is. It’s as simple as that.

The EdenFantasys review program had a large role in contributing to all of the things that I’ve gained from the website. I highly recommend the program to anyone who is not yet participating. You learn a lot about materials and products when reviewing and it’s extremely easy to make friends by joining the mentor program. My very first friend on the website was actually my review mentor. She helped me understand the website, material guides, and how to write an informative review.

While in the review program, you’ll be sent assignments every so often. This is something that I really enjoyed, and my partner did as well. Assignments allowed my partner and I to try new products that we probably wouldn’t have tried otherwise. Most of the assignments I have received have been a big success in our bedroom and have contributed to our willingness to experiment and our sexual confidence that we have.

Now, less than a year later, I’m a mentor to new members, I’ve participated in the editor rotation, and I’m currently in the top 5 reviewers with 231 reviews. I’ve gained a ridiculous amount of knowledge, and now my friends and family come to me with any questions they have about toys or sex.

The friendships I’ve gained have really helped me through my struggle with anxiety and depression, and my sex life is no longer good -- it’s great! The only thing that I have lost from being a member of EdenFantasys is space in our bedroom. We have so many toys and lingerie items…but hey, I’m not complaining!