Borrowing a page from the classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Hugh Hefner has hidden “Golden Tickets” in 10 of the 200,000 issues of Playboy due to hit newsstands this Friday—and whoever nabs the prizes gets to go to Hef’s Midsummer Night's Dream Party.
“This is the first time we've literally swung the doors open” to the public, Playboy Editorial Director Jimmy Jellinek told Reuters. “The average reader will go home with stories they can't tell their wives and girlfriends but will last forever.” Or maybe they’ll go home with stories that their wives and girlfriends—or husbands or boyfriends—will love to listen to.
The receivers of the Golden Tickets will not only get to attend the highly exclusive sexy gala, but they’ll get an all expense paid trip to L.A., posh hotel and upscale dining included. Sounds like there might be some “pandemonium” at the newsstands this Friday. The only question is now, what will Veruca Salt possibly whine about when she gets to such a kickin’ party?
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This Veterans Day, take some time to tell a loyal service man or woman, “Hey, thanks for the freedom, you sexy soldier, you.” And cross your fingers that Garrison Phillips, 81-year-old gay veteran, gets his wish that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell be repealed.
Garrison Phillips will be marching in the New York Veterans Day parade today, just like he regularly marches in the city’s Gay Pride Parade. Retired since he returned from his service in the Korean War, Phillips now spends his time advocating for LGBT rights as one of the uncountable gay and lesbian soldiers who have quietly served their country despite being officially unwelcome.
“Our ancestors came to this country to escape persecution, and now many European militaries allow gays to serve without major disruptions,” Phillips told AOL News. “Yet here in America we're not doing that. It's astonishing to me.” Especially since we’re supposed to be the land of the free.
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Potato butt. Po-ta-to butt. If there is any way to get someone to buy your dresses, telling them that they have a potato butt might not be high on the list.
But still, someone has. The Wal-Mart related UK supermarket chain Asda is now promoting a series of affordable holiday dresses designed to flatter women’s bums, whether they be a nectarine, pear, tomato, or—potato butt. Apparently, these designations come from “bottom expert” Dr. David Holmes, and based his derriere assessments on shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry. Which is all fine and good but…potato butt? Isn’t there another prettier fruit that one could compare a hard, lumpy back end to—like a pomegranate butt, maybe? Or at least, we can get a sweet potato butt, how about that?