We find that if people don’t believe in evolution it may be because they’re not prone to doing it. Everything evolves: the world changes and one must adapt if one is to stick around in some form or another. With that in mind writer Paul Rudnick has expanded the Kinsey Scale to adapt to our evolving cultural views on sexuality.
Invented by Alfred Kinsey and colleagues in 1948, the scale offers six gradations of human sexuality, from “Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual,” (level 0) to “Exclusively homosexual,” (level 6).
Rudnick’s very tongue-in-cheek sexuality scale offers us a whopping 24 possible shades of sexuality— it’s the difference between the 8-pack of Crayolas and the 120 pack that lets you differentiate between “Burnt Orange,” and “Burnt Sienna.”
We don’t want to be a plot spoiler and tell you the straightest and gayest you can possibly be, but we will say number three on the scale is “So heterosexual that when you go to see Hugh Jackman: Back on Broadway you can’t understand why he doesn’t just use his steel Wolverine claws to kill his backup dancers,” and number 20 is “Homosexual, but willing to speak to heterosexuals without muttering, under your breath, ‘Have you ever even been to a museum?’”
Come to think of it, a burning need to differentiate between Burnt Orange and Burnt Sienna belongs somewhere on the high side of the on the scale, too. Think he’ll add it in? What’s a little more evolution between friends?