In November we seemed to be focused on relationships and the breakdown thereof. Marriage, divorce, dating and the exchange of power between two people dominated this month's top 25. We welcomed Executive Pervert Mollena Williams, aka The Perverted Negress, to the SexIs family while Barak & Sheba whispered the secrets to great oral (aural?) sex in our ear. Of course, it wouldn't be SexIs without plenty of the usual suspects: The Bloggess, Nina and Roland all treat us to ample humor, advice and sexual politics - take a break from Christmas shopping and see what you missed in November!
1. Will the Real Lesbian Please Stand Up? by Tinamarie Bernard
It wasn’t until a long-time friend confided in her about her a midlife lesbian affair that Tinamarie Bernard was willing to investigate female sexual fluidity, and not just from a scientific distance — new research suggests a woman’s libidinous nature expands as she ages — but also psychologically. What is it about growing older that frees women to explore fantasies they may never have had envisioned in their younger, heterosexual days?
2.Is There Such A Thing As Female Privilege? by Roland Hulme
In the sex positive talk space we hear a lot about “male privilege” but rarely — if ever — discuss what privileges women have that men don’t. Hulme claims women do have "female privilege" even though we rarely address this concept and, when we do, it's quickly scoffed at and derailed.
3.Oh, Grampa by The Bloggess
When Jenny's grandfather died he left herpartial ownership of a used tractor. This video made her feel a whole lot better about that tractor.
4.Waking Up Your Inner Word Slut: How To Open Up And Say "Take Me!" by Barak & Sheba
Barak & Sheba are talking about Oral Sex. Not the licking, slurping, sucking kind; although they love that kind too! They're talking about opening up your soft, warm lips and sending luscious vibrations through those little white chords that say, “I want you to fuck me. Slow. Fast. Long. Hard.” And, “Please, make it hurt… just a little.” Want to talk about that? They do.
5.“No” Means “No.” So Why Do Some Women Teach Men It Means “Maybe?” by Roland Hulme
The more the sex positive community talks about the importance of respecting boundaries, the more alarming it becomes when, in mainstream dating, some women have been encouraging men to do the opposite for decades.
6.Good Things Come in Little Packages, Part 1 and Part 2 by Cherry Trifle
In this two-part series, Cherry introduces us to sexuality educator and vibrator aggregator, Marylou Naccarato, who discusses the importance of sensuality to happiness and why being “differently-abled” simply means finding alternative paths to fulfillment. In Part 2, Naccarato waxes on the importance of sensuality to happiness and creative uses for low, Japanese tables that don’t involve sushi.
7.I See What You Did There by The Bloggess
Once again twitter has helped Jenny to write her sex column, as “GamesToDescribeSex” quickly became a twitter topic. Some were stupid. Some were confusing. Some were awesome and pretty damn creative. Which one is your favorite?
8.What Every Submissive Needs To Know Before They Play by Midori
When you find it, the desire to jump into the deep end of the BDSM pool can be irresistible. The excitement of new found friends, playmates and activities can drive a submissive off track and into dangerous situations for mind, body and soul. In this letter to my submissive friends, I offer some advice to avoid the pitfalls during your adventures.
9.Sex at 36, or Boys, Men and Me by Rachel Kramer Bussell
Age has been on Rachel's mind since she turned 36 on November 10th. She's often told she doesn't look her age, and she says she certainly don't feel her age, but she can't deny that what she want out of sex and relationships has changed since she was 26, and even from when she was 30. Sometimes she thinks the older she gets, the less she knows about how sex works — not so much the physical side, but the rest of it.
10.Kim Kardashian and the Sanctity of Marriage: A History of Marriage — Part One by Rachel White
Kim Kardashian threw a lavish multi million dollar wedding, only to divorce two months later. The gossip has prompted a wave of tweets along the lines of... “tell me again why the sanctity of marriage is threatened by gays?” But Rachel White asks, has marriage ever had sanctity?
11.A Conversation On Faith, Love & Open Relationships with Rusty Lazer and Corinne Loperfido by TinaV
Recently, Loperfido and Lazer took the time to speak to TinaV about their new blog and the specifics of their open relationship.
12.Hidden Dungeon of New York: Iron Bell Academy by Midori
Just a stone’s throw and a short town car ride away from the Upper East Side, hides an elegant gem of a kinky pleasure retreat called The Iron Bell Academy. It’s a private membership based dungeon society catering to the aesthetically rigorous bondage and BDSM aficionado.
13.She Plays, He Plays: We’re A Little Tied Up At The Moment by Rydell Johnson
Last month, we sent Rydell and Susan not one, but five Sex & Mischief Kits from Sportsheets to try. They've turned their bedroom into a bondage playroom, purely for educational purposes of course... they haven't been enjoying themselves at all...
14.The Perverted Negress: Whisper by Mollena Williams
Get to know our newest columnist, native New Yorker, performer, actor, writer, BDSM educator and Executive Pervert: Mollena Williams.
15.For Homework, He Wants You to Masturbate Twice as Much by Liz Langley
Student, age 60, files complaint about class in human sexuality. What was she expecting?
16.Top 10 Strangest Things People Have Sent Me For November by The Bloggess
Every month, well-meaning strangers send Jenny a myriad of bizarre links because they want to scare her into never having sex again. Or possibly because they know that she writes a sex column and they know that she's always looking for new material. Either way? We salute them.
17.Is Divorce Really A Bad Thing? A History of Marriage (and Divorce) — Part 2 by Rachel White
Last week when news of Kim Kardashian's divorce shook up the Internet, Rachel asked: What's with the so-called “sanctity”of this marriage? Does the institution actually have any sanctity? The short answer? No.
18.Dear Redheads: I’ll Take Your Sperm! by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Shopping for a potential mate and a potential sperm donor involves evaluation of very different sets of information. When choosing the DNA material to pair with yours to create a child, what's really important and how does it different from choosing a potential life partner?
19. The Wisdom of the Womb, Part Three: Do Men Have Wombs too? by Veronica Monet
People who are born biologically male may not have wombs in the medical sense of the word, but do they have wombs in any other sense? Most of us think the word “womb” applies only to that aspect of anatomy in which a baby grows, but some envision womb as a gender-neutral energetic reality.
20.The Prime Directive — It's Not Just For Starfleet by Mollena Williams
When you look at “Power Exchange” relationships – that is, relationships that are based on someone giving over control of some facet (or all aspects!) of their lives to another person – it seems obvious whose needs, wants and desires come first. The master over the slave, the dominant over the submissive, top over the bottom. Or is it?
21. Tuesdays With Nina: Gay Is Who You Love, Not What You Do by Nina Hartley
You and your wife have started playing around, experimenting with anal play, and guess what? You love it! But, now you're worried about your sexuality, doesn't enjoying anal play make you gay?
22.Nikol Hasler: Game Over
Hey guys, you think you've got the online dating thing figured out, you think you have game, but really, you don't. Nikol says you're "gaming yourselves out of the game" and there are three things you need to stop doing.
23. Tuesdays With Nina: Feeling Frigid by Nina Hartley
Is a woman frigid if her partner can't get her off? This common problem can be a source of great stress in a relationship. He feels like a failure for not being able to get her off. She feels frigid and ashamed. How can an otherwise happy couple solve the problem of no big O?
24. Siri is Also a Vibrator; Nokia's Lumia is Spanish Slang for Prostitute by Rayne Millaray
And then there's the AT&T “Vivid,” which was a trademark lawsuit (or partnership?) waiting to happen.
25.SexCult: Sex on Six Legs - Lessons on Life, Love, and Language from the Insect World by Liz Langley
It’s all fun and games until someone loses their genitalia.