Only the Irish Want Sperm from Redheads

Whatever would Mrs. Weasley say? Cryos, the world’s largest sperm bank, has started to turn away red-headed donors because there just isn’t that much demand for their sperm.

According to the Telegraph, Cryos’ director Ole Schou says that the only place where the sperm of flame-haired donors is really in demand is Ireland, where it sells “like hotcakes.” In the countries where Cryos does the most business—Spain, Italy and Greece—people tend to prefer donors with brown hair and eyes (Cryos does business in about 65 countries). They’re already at capacity with 70 liters of sperm and pay donors $500 a pop, so to speak, which explains why there’s a donor waiting list of 600 (if I were a guy I’d try very hard to make this my job).

Mr. Schou told a Danish newspaper that there were too many redheads in relation to demand and said “I do not think you chose a redhead, unless the partner—for example, the sterile male—has red hair, or because the lone woman has a preference for redheads. And that’s perhaps not so many, especially in the latter case.”

So, you know what this means: a little less ginger bred. (Oh, come on…I had to).