Today we have a “what not to do” for the doctors among us. It seems a world-renowned surgeon has found himself the target of feminist protesters because of a joke he made in a column in the trade magazine Surgery News under the headline “Gut Feelings,” which discussed the possibility of a physiological reason for an affliction better known as “love at first sight.”

“The editorial was a review of what I thought was some fascinating new findings related to semen, and the way in which nature is trying to promote a stronger bond between men and women. It impressed me. It seemed as though it was a gift from nature. And so that was the reason for my lighthearted comments.” said Dr. Lazar Greenfield, who was the president-elect of the American College of Surgeons until his (hilarious) faux pas. He resigned when he heard about the threat of protests.

What'd he say that has people up in arms? “So there's a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there's a better gift for that day than chocolates.”

His hypothesis has backing! In his paper, Dr. Greenfield cited a peer-reviewed study that shows women who have unprotected sex are less likely to be plagued with depression than women who use condoms. (Note: We're not suggesting you go out and have unprotected sex for your mental health's sake. Use condoms. See a doctor for the depression.)

So, doctors present and future, remember: Suggesting a man have sex with his female partner on Valentine's Day is a terrible, terrible thing. Semen is no laughing matter.