Are kids’ toys getting too, well … hot? The TODAY show seems to think so, saying that some parents are upset at the latest versions of some old favorites. Tinker Bell has boobs and a come-hither look. Rainbow Brite and Strawberry Shortcake aren’t little girls anymore. Even Trollz are showing some fashion sense and a little thigh.
“When we have these ridiculous models — sexualized children, and horses with long eyelashes that are flirtatious and all of that — it sets up this ideal of beauty and body image that kids have to pay attention to because they can’t not pay attention to it. And they feel less good as they’re trying to develop a good sense about their own bodies,” says Dale Atkins, a psychologist and TODAY show contributor. "The sexualized aspect just makes them feel like they're only good if they are objectified. ... And it's all so subtle, for a child anyway. We parents and adults look at this and say, 'Oh my gosh, this is so blatant, but in fact it's subtle because kids are playing with these things and then they look in the mirror.”
And of course that makes us want to agree entirely, right away, because no person in their right mind wants to sexualize children or set girls up to be chronically unhappy at failing to measure up to some idealized standard of beauty foisted on them before they’re old enough to even understand what is happening to them.
But we also wonder, at the same time, if this is really something that is getting worse, fairy princesses having been around for a very long time. There are more toys than ever, many of which promote diversity, celebrate being “different” and send presumably entirely acceptable subliminal messages to kids. Parents, in the end, make these choices. They can hardly be unaware, in this day and age, of what they’re doing.
We think maybe TODAY is going a little overboard, while at the same time respecting that they’ve raised (again) a legitimate issue. We recognize that this opinion may put us in the minority—according to an online poll running with the story, about 87 percent are saying “I wouldn’t want my kids playing with some of these toys.”
But if that’s the case—who’s buying them?
We’d like to hear from some of the moms and dads in our community on this one, we really would.
“When we have these ridiculous models — sexualized children, and horses with long eyelashes that are flirtatious and all of that — it sets up this ideal of beauty and body image that kids have to pay attention to because they can’t not pay attention to it. And they feel less good as they’re trying to develop a good sense about their own bodies,” says Dale Atkins, a psychologist and TODAY show contributor. "The sexualized aspect just makes them feel like they're only good if they are objectified. ... And it's all so subtle, for a child anyway. We parents and adults look at this and say, 'Oh my gosh, this is so blatant, but in fact it's subtle because kids are playing with these things and then they look in the mirror.”
And of course that makes us want to agree entirely, right away, because no person in their right mind wants to sexualize children or set girls up to be chronically unhappy at failing to measure up to some idealized standard of beauty foisted on them before they’re old enough to even understand what is happening to them.
But we also wonder, at the same time, if this is really something that is getting worse, fairy princesses having been around for a very long time. There are more toys than ever, many of which promote diversity, celebrate being “different” and send presumably entirely acceptable subliminal messages to kids. Parents, in the end, make these choices. They can hardly be unaware, in this day and age, of what they’re doing.
We think maybe TODAY is going a little overboard, while at the same time respecting that they’ve raised (again) a legitimate issue. We recognize that this opinion may put us in the minority—according to an online poll running with the story, about 87 percent are saying “I wouldn’t want my kids playing with some of these toys.”
But if that’s the case—who’s buying them?
We’d like to hear from some of the moms and dads in our community on this one, we really would.
Darn, I was hoping this article would be about kids using the dolls to act out sexual situations. That's what we did (rubbing the dolls together, having them make out, not knowing what sex was yet), and it didn't matter what the dolls looked like. Although the Jem doll was the evil stepmother, because her pink hair looked almost grey, and the Jordan Knight (New Kids on the Block) doll was the pervert macking on all of the girls. Little did we know...
While I can't say if the dolls now are sexier than my formative years since I don't shop in the toy section, my friend's daughter likes these, and I think they're hot!
So Cassandra, I'm going to take that as one vote for "Dolls are not too hot/TODAY show being prudish worrywarts" ?
Hi Jeff,
Good question.
Here's the thing: I'm sex positive. I'm a mom. I'm a sex blogger. I want the whole world to enjoy safe, consensual, mind-blowing pleasure to their heart/soul/bodies content. I'm a huge fan of age-appropriate sex education that goes beyond the mechanics of procreation. And I believe that the toys/clothes/marketing for kids have gotten very sexy. I think your question is about 10 years too late. It's not just that breasts of these dolls are bigger, or they are sporting come-hither expressions that are seductive. As a mom, this problem boils my bunny in a huge way. So, without having seen the Today Show episode, I can say that they are coming at this way too late too. This isn't being prudish worrywarts; this is saying let our kids be kids and introduce them to grown up play in a way and process that's safe and respectful.
So far, what we've accomplished from my perspective is giving kids two extreme options: prudishness and purity balls and virginity as a commodity or GGW and sexualized imagery/toys/marketing/etc. And Cassandra's comment that these dolls are hot is more evidence. Why do we want our kids, or little kids, playing with hot dolls? Why do we want them dressing sexy, swiveling their hips, giving blow jobs to boys at 9 years old? (I'm referencing "Oral Sex is the New Good Night Kiss' documentary from 2009).
If we as a sex-positive community don't acknowledge that this aspect is a problem, we aren't serving ourselves or anyone else for that matter. Let's be smart about this, recognize that early sexualization is a problem, it's happening, it's been demonstrated time and again by social scientists, and it's hurting our ability to promote better sex education in schools. Why do I thing that? Because the ultra-conservative communities will use this as a means to shut down sex-positive efforts to teach our children about healthy sexuality. So, as a culture we end up sexualizing our kids without teaching them all the amazing nuances about sexuality? What's up with that?
Oh, I could go on! (Can't you tell? ) But I'll volutarily get off my mommy soap box now. Thanks for letting me air my angst on this!
Thanks, MLM. I was looking for some additional perspective on this, and you delivered.
I've also had people tell me that we're much more than 10 years late on this (Barbie having been around forever, and being just one precursor) ... and I've been told that this is all harmless fun, as well.
I may just wallow in the gray area of it all and try to figure out what I really think. But my instinct is that yours is the opinion I feel closest to.
Thanks Jeff. I feel closest to it too.
It's about moderation and education. If We own our sexuality, then we can fully pass this knowledge on to our children in ways that raise them to be loving, sexually responsible and confident adults. If fear owns our sexuality, you see what we get today.
Peace out. T