While you may not wish to take advice from a self-professed guru, the fact remains that humans have envisioned energetic aspects to the human body for millennia and many of these ancient teachings are finding new applications in our modern world, some of which provide sexual benefits.
Any discussion of energetic centers in the body requires at least a cursory understanding of chakras. Wikipedia explains Chakras as a point of biophysical energy in the human body and a part of many philosophical and spiritual traditions, as well as therapies and disciplines such as Yoga, Acupuncture, Shiatsu, T’ai chi and Qigong which focus on balancing the energy meridians that are an integral part of the chakra system. In the West, the subtle energy of the chakras is explored through practices such as Aromatherapy and Reiki.
Although there are a multitude of variations, Western teachings usually envision seven chakras: Root Chakra, Sacral Chakra, Navel Chakra, Heart Chakra, Throat Chakra, Third Eye Chakra and Crown Chakra. In addition, some refer to the Womb Chakra, which is between the pelvis and the navel for people of any gender.
I had the pleasure of blurbing Amara Charles’ latest book, The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka, which is an excellent resource for anyone serious about activating their sexual expression energetically. Amara, who incidentally lists ten chakras in her book, invites us to slow down during sex so we can sense the energy that flows between lovers. According to her, sexual dissatisfaction between partners is always due to something missing in the energetic connection and learning to feel into the chakras can add a whole new dimension to sex.
Sheri Winston refers to the Sacral Chakra as the Sex Chakra in her book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal. She also stresses the importance of breath to pleasurable and orgasmic sex: “ . . . when you get turned on, you breathe faster as your arousal pulls your breath along behind it. If you want to use your breath consciously, you can do so by flipping the sequence and having your breath pull your arousal along.”
Barbara Carrellas agrees. In her July 2010 article for HealYourLife.com, “Want Great Sex? Just Breathe!,” she says there are three things you need to know about breath and sex: 1.) Changing the way you breathe changes the way you feel, 2) sexual energy travels on the breath and 3) the more you breathe the more you feel. Affirming the importance of learning to apply conscious breathing techniques to sex, she intones “When you want to stay in the excitement phase of lovemaking for as long as possible and enjoy extended orgasmic states, it is your breath, not your genitals that will hold you in the totality of ever-increasing sensation.”
For a few individuals, breath holding can lead to more intense orgasms. But for most of us, holding our breath causes our orgasms to be genitally focused and this is usually perceived as being less satisfying than full body orgasms. Learning to incorporate conscious breathing into your sex life, whether you are going solo or playing with a partner, is a great way to postpone your orgasms so the intensity can build.
When I worked as an escort, I devoted a great deal of my focus to teaching my clients how to employ conscious breathing and experience chakra energy. I often began a session by massaging their back and inviting them to breath into the massage. By placing my hands over their heart chakra while engaging in conscious breathing, I literally breathed energy into our connection.
Slowing the sexual interaction and delving deeper into sexual energy centers through the breath and chakras, enabled me to provide most of my clients with peak sexual experiences. As I became more aware of my own energetic body and began to translate that to bigger and better orgasms for myself, I was able to share those skills with my clients.
In the beginning, my logical brain resisted the journey. I had believed that sex was about rubbing sex organs - what I like to refer to today as “the friction model” of sex. But working with a more holistic and energetically centered approach expanded my experience of sex into something which I find to be much more enlivening, pleasurable and fulfilling. What surprises some of course, is that this enabled me to create a meaningful and spiritually centered connection with my escorting clients.
Next month, I will explain that and more! For now, let me answer the question, do men have wombs?
Yes, they do. If we see the body as an energetic entity, people with all types of genitals, whether male, female, intersex or transgender; possess a similar energy center which can be envisioned as a womb or a repository of the individual’s hopes, traumas, aspirations, emotions, spirituality and creativity. A sexual journey which entails healing and activating this energy center not only creates more pleasure and connection with our lover(s) but accentuates our ability to live life more fully and achieve our full potentials.