"I accept myself and create peace in my mind and heart. I now choose to free myself from all destructive fears and doubts. I am loved and I am safe."
Yet another example that will have all my fellow thick girls nodding: We thicker females can't wear those little thongs and bikini lingerie. We might think it’s sexy and say to ourselves, "Oh how I wish I could wear that," but we know we can’t because we want to feel sexy! We don’t want our rolls and curves all hanging out, we want to hide most of them. So we often wear lingerie that covers almost everything. If we are lucky we have men who love that we aren’t showing too much. It is like a mystery to them. For a larger woman, it can be difficult when having sex because our weight limits the type of positions we can get into, and how long we can do them!
When I was younger I was thin, mostly skin and bones, and I was confident with my body. As I got older I started dating, and stress became my best friend. It was just horrible! With the stress I was going through it was making me eat more. I would eat junk food all the time. I drank soda and I was put on birth control which caused me to gain weight as well.
I disliked where my body was going. My ex-boyfriend called me fat, and everyone made fun of me. It was just the worst feeling ever. I tried my best to stop the emotional eating, but every time I felt sad, or mad, I ate something I should not have been eating. I had people call me a whale, people thought I was pregnant, and every name in the book I was called. I would cry every night in the shower so that no one could hear me. While everyone called me names and told me every day that I was fat, I started hating my body more. Worse, I began to believe what everyone was saying. I would write in my diary detailing why no one liked me, and why I hated myself. I even tried drugging myself so that I would die, but I guess it wasn’t my turn because I’m still alive.
So here I am at 21 and at 5'1", I’m a little over weight for my height. It has been difficult to find someone that will love me for me. It seems as though everyone is concerned with body figures, and they sometimes forget that thick girls need love too! I have started to realize that my body is not what makes me, me. I have also realized that in order for me to love someone, I have to love myself. When it comes to sex, that can be hard. You want to be comfortable with your body, and at the same time you want your loved one to accept your body. My fiancé loves my body, and I’m trying to understand why. Is it because of my "love handles?" Or is it because I have bigger breasts, and more ass than his exes? To me, I look like Flubber. Every woman wants to feel sexy when their partner is in the bedroom, am I right?
Over the years I have learned, and I’m still learning, that I have to love myself and my body. If I don’t then who will love me, and who will I love? To every thick woman reading this who is still having these self loathing problems, just know you ARE beautiful in every way possible! You can overcome this fear. It’s your body, and you have to treat it right! Eat healthy and exercise. You can lose weight, but please just remember that no matter how thick or skinny you are, you are still loved and still beautiful.