The year 2011 was very difficult for me. Due to being ill with a rare pancreatic disorder known as Sphincter of Oddi Dysfunction Type III, I spend most of my life very sheltered from the world. The only time I’m ever outside of my home is when I have to go to some sort of doctor appointment or pick up my numerous prescriptions from the local pharmacy.

I was diagnosed with this illness shortly after I turned 21. You can imagine how that can disrupt a busy university student’s life. I lost my job, had to move back in with my parents, and had to take an indefinite medical leave from my final year of school. My good old-fashioned Christian friends basically moved on with their own lives and never checked in on me; not even when I made numerous attempts to contact them first.

Since I’ve been single for nearly seven years, I’ve been lacking physical contact. Due to being so ill, I feel like I’ll never have a man in my life that would look past my illness and see me for who I am. My opinion of myself began to turn toward the negative since I’m alone all the time and hated the feeling of actually touching myself with my own hands.

While I was contemplating life, I actually decided to just go out on a limb and type something I’ve never typed into my search engine before: sex toy shops. I was so nervous and even ashamed of it for a little while. While browsing the search results, I stumbled upon EdenFantasys.com. Being from a very Christian family, I thought to myself, ‘Who the Hell do these people think they are using Eden in the name of their sex toy shop?!’ Of course, the reality hit me that I was actually actively searching for a sex toy shop, so I kindly shut the Hell up after that ridiculous thought.

I spent about two hours parading the site, fascinated by the reviews from people experienced and inexperienced, such as myself. It hit me that these were just regular people, trying to enjoy their lives and unafraid of sharing their opinions on products along with their own personal experiences to help people like me make a wise purchase.

I began to imagine myself being like one of the brave reviewers on the site, making jokes about products while giving the readers invaluable, honest information about the usefulness and safety of the products. I knew that this was something I could do. It would help me focus on something other than my lonely life and my illness.

It also helped me get a better understanding of people. There are so many diverse people, and sexual orientations on this site that I never would have known about if it weren’t for EdenFantasys. For instance, I had no idea what pansexuality was until I became friends with people on the site who are pansexual. Since many friends in my personal life abandoned me because of my illness, many friends on EdenFantasys.com embraced me, regardless of my health situation. Those same people that my church had told me were uncaring and wicked are the ones who are supportive of me. Go figure!

Even when I finally opened up and admitted my longing for being a submissive in a BDSM relationship, the community accepted me and guided me to places where I can meet others like me.

I started out a lonely and ill young woman, who hated to touch her own body. However, now, I can’t stop myself from playing with the wonderful toys I’ve gotten off the site! Instead of focusing on the pain my illness causes me, I can now focus on the immense amount of pleasure my sex toys give me. I love myself, and I’ve learned to love different people thanks to Eden. I can honestly say that EdenFantasys gave me a reason to live.