"Everyone should get to decide not only what they can do with their own bodies (such as the carrying and/or having of a baby or not), but also the labels that go with their bodies, as well."
What Do You Mean When You Say "Father" and "Mother?"
Consider what you are saying when you ask, "Should the father have any say in the pregnancy?"
What if the father is the one whose body is housing the baby?
Consider Thomas Beatie, the famous "pregnant man." Beatie, a female to male transgender individual, received donation sperm and delivered his baby via C-section, despite doctors' warnings. Meanwhile, his wife Nancy's body was not holding the baby.
So now I ask you-- should the father have a say in the pregnancy? Should he get to decide if the baby is aborted? Absolutely, as it is his body in question.
Do not assume that only women can become pregnant, and do not assume that all "males" become pregnant, either. For example, it is commonly said that male pregnancy is found in sea horses. But to that I ask, "Was that you defining their bodies and determining them to be male, or them doing that?" The problem with assuming that X-gender can or cannot become pregnant often creates lack of autonomy, or lack of self-determination of what one's body is.
Beyond that, do not assume that you can determine what parts of others' bodies are, either. For example, do not say that "uterus-havers," or "penis-havers" or anything, do certain things. Some may not identify their parts as being certain things, and I mean this for all parts. Do not assume that everyone has a mouth, hands, or anything; just because you call your parts certain things does not mean that others do as well.
This can not only cause dysphoria, but it is an oppressive act in general. While I won't say that common naming of parts does not have its advantages (such as in medicine), it nonetheless can contribute to homogenized narrative experiences and policing of bodies.
Rather, everyone should get to decide not only what they can do with their own bodies (such as the carrying and/or having of a baby or not), but also the labels that go with their bodies, as well.