"I am a voluntary cam model doing this just for fun and not to support myself or my family."
At home with js250
First off, let me start by saying that it is a pleasure to be writing an article on one of my best Eden friends, js250. I have looked towards Steff as a mentor of sorts since first reading her Fractured Lives article a few months ago. Not too long after that, we became friends. Steff is a genuinely nice and smart individual and I am going to try and use as many of her own words as possible in this article (though I might have to shorten up the actual interview answers. Holy hell that girl can write!).
Let's begin with the basics, shall we? Steff is 42 years young. She is a heterosexual female who has been married for 16 years. She enjoys spending time online as an amateur cam model. She has been a cam model for about 2½ years. She and her husband started experimenting about 5 years ago with online cam2cam chat rooms, at which time they really had no idea of the possibilities and many options that were out there for couples looking to have some online camming fun. That is really where it all began.
• Amateur cam workers typically do not have to adhere to a contract or schedule. They typically work out of their own homes and provide their own lighting and staging. Whether they work as a hobby or for income, they can choose what they will or will not do on the website they choose to work and have the right to pick and choose their customers.
• Professional cam workers must work on a regular schedule or must make a minimum income per day/week/month. They usually get paid on a per-minute rate and/or higher commissions. They may have a contract with a studio or a particular website. They usually record all shows for future sales. Generally their camera equipment and lighting is of studio quality and may have to meet certain criteria or minimum performance before being approved. ]
Steff's husband wanted to experiment a little more in regards to their sex life. At the time, Steff was far too uncomfortable with the idea. She had made up her mind ahead of time to not take interest in porn, sex toys or anything that was too far over the risqué line. Basically, she was the "good girl" we all grew up hearing about. You know, the one gripping the aspirin between her knees so her legs wouldn't spread.
Then one night, she had changed her mind after he shared his ideas. She was in an odd mood and decided to give it a go. She admitted to her husband how turned on she was by the sex toy and porn he had proposed and admitted that they would have her getting off in a couple of minutes. It did! And instead of rolling over and going to bed like normal, she kept going, and going! She says her sex life was forever changed. That was the beginning of a life of sexual freedom.
As for her start as a cam model? She says, "My husband had a few days off soon after that night and I had to work. I came home to see him at lunch and walked into the bedroom asking him if he wanted sandwiches or soup for lunch. When I looked up, he was naked, full staff and stroking. I had a major orgasm standing there. That is when we both realized we liked to watch and be watched. So, how to legally and anonymously accomplish watching someone or having someone watch us?
We posted a few pictures on a couple of safe sites and added a 3 minute clip of me squirting. Of course, we could not leave out his cum shot. Or two! Then we found cam2cam chat rooms. That was fun but frustrating, trying to find someone. AARRGGHHHH!! Then we checked out the webcam pay sites and signed up for a couple. I lost my nerve and realized my cam and the internet where I live was just not up to par for the site requirements.
I stumbled on the free cam site by accident, and we LOVED it!! The first night I was on there I made $318 in tips. On a free to watch site!! I was hooked!! If people like watching me enough to spend money when they do not have to...Oh, yeah!! And what better way to enjoy my exhibitionism, check out other men jerking, and be monogamous and sexually exclusive to my voyeur husband?"
Now tell me, does anyone out there think this is not totally fucking hot? Finally finding your sexual freedom and then not too long after, hitting the big O when you walk in on your partner owning their sexuality, only to find that you both absolutely love it. This leads you to dive in head first into a world of exhibition and orgasms. And then to top it all off, the first time you get on cam you make over $300, which obviously translates into, "Damn girl, you’re a goddess, do it again!" That has to be one of the best stories out there when it comes to losing your cam cherry. Exciting and detailed!
The Best and the Worst
As far as Steff is concerned, the best part of being in the sex industry as a cam model is the personal freedom she has. She is able to explore the facets of her sexuality; she can have fun experimenting and embracing the exhibitionist and voyeur sides of her sexual being. Most importantly she can do it all without jeopardizing her marriage, and at the same time is able to share it all with him.
Finding new likes and interests is definitely a bonus to their already exciting play time. She loves how open and creative she is when her wild side takes over. Her husband is very open and she loves how turned on he gets when they start exploring all of the ideas that they come up with that fall within the boundaries they set together as a married couple when it comes to experimenting and acting on fantasies.
Another great part, which I definitely agree with, is all the compliments and adoration a cam model receives from the viewers. Knowing that you are the object of another person’s fantasy is very uplifting to ones self-confidence. It has not only made her more confident in her own body, with her sexuality and within herself as a whole, but she has found she is more positive and happy in her overall life.
I have personally known many women who have forever changed for the better due to their experiences as a sex worker. Some people spend tens of thousands of dollars on therapy to try and build confidence in themselves and it never works. But the first time you see that someone is willing to pay you for your time, it begins to make you realize that you have so much more. I am not talking about just porn fun, but regular, fully clothed conversation as well. Often times these people will shower you with gifts of money and compliments and want you to feel special. Once they realize that they are worth it, they will hold their head higher and stop letting people walk over them. They have confidence, the boldness to speak out when needed which in turn brings happiness that might have never been achieved in their normal everyday existence.
But of course, most upsides have a downside. And to Steff, those downsides include the rude, bossy and/or negative viewers. There are people who do not care that you are doing this for fun and the cam show is strictly voluntary. These viewers think you should drop everything and perform their requests immediately or suffer their insults. Come on now, what part of fun do they not understand? They are watching for free! They should be respectful and enjoy the voluntary show.
We all run into people like that every day. The asshole that thinks he can talk down to their waitress because they are wearing a suit and the waitress is wearing a uniform. The people who run their mouths because a line is moving too slow and they shouldn't have to wait so long for a cup of coffee or whatever. You know, the people who can walk on water in their own minds. I love to see people like that, usually when they are falling off a curb into traffic or stepping in a pile of dog shit. Doesn't anyone believe in karma anymore?
When asked to give 3 words to explain how her job makes her feel, she opted to go over the 3 word limit with, Self-confident, Sexy and Open minded/accepting. I think they are pretty much self-explanatory but I would like to point out that Steff was quite a reserved individual until experimenting with camming. Not only did they make her feel better about herself, but they also opened her up to several possibilities. Being open minded is a wonderful thing. It not only allows you to look at the world in a new and different way, but it also allows you to take a look at yourself differently. You see what you can be, what you want to be. And when you see yourself as a strong and sexy person, you find that you can do anything.
We have gotten a pretty good look at the good girl gone bad so far. But let’s look a little deeper shall we? Who is Steff when she is not being a sexual goddess and dominating the camming world? The way she explains herself is quite reserved and quiet, until you get to know her of course, in which she talks non-stop! For some reason, after some lengthy emails and interviews, I totally believe that she is a talker. I don't think I could imagine her holding back. This is why I love her so much! She also has a wicked and funny sense of humor that occasionally does get her into trouble!
She lives in a rural area, one of those towns where everyone knows you, or knows of you. She owns a retail business and is considered by customers to be very serious and professional but friendly. With her friends she is very outgoing and comes up with lots of fun, but legal, hell raising ideas. She is an adrenaline junky. She is a tomboy but she has a serious fetish for wearing lingerie, the sexier, lacier and more girly, the better!
The part I find amusing is that her friends think she is a prude! She said it’s mostly because she was a bit naive and a late developer sexually and she doesn’t discuss her sex life. She feels that some things are best kept private, especially something so personal like how hot her hubby is in the bedroom. He is her sexy secret. Well, he was her sexy secret. Now we all know how hot and horny he gets behind those closed doors! And what he does when wifey is away! Hubba hubba, hubby! Almost makes me wanna go out and get married again...almost! But Steff still keeps her sexy secrets from her friends. When they tell her how conservative she is and that she needs to learn how to talk about her sexual escapades, all she can do is smile, look at the ground and shake her head. They think she is just being shy, but little do they know! Steff the shy girl is really js250 the sexual rock star!
But just like anyone else, even sexual rock stars hit little speed bumps on the road to gratification! Steff remembers her second time on cam and she had over 300 people watching. She became quite nervous and developed "cam fright." Cam fright is the equivalent of stage fright, except for the obvious difference. She had completely lost her desire and had no idea where to go from there. She remembers that she had about rubbed her nipples off her body because that’s all she could think to do! She pretty much entered full panic mode! Luckily, her husband was able to talk her through the episode as well as some thoughtful encouragement from the viewers who also knew it was only her second time on cam.
Then one guy who started watching at about the same time she unfroze and started to get back into the moment reported her cam as being a prerecorded movie, a no-no on the free sites! He thought that the "freeze" was the movie starting over when in fact she had simply frozen up! Instead of getting upset about it like many other cam models would, she took it as a compliment that the video looked good enough to be a movie!
Steff Speaks Out
After working in the sex industry and seeing all the benefits in her life, Steff says that she wouldn't quit. She is a voluntary cam model and this is a hobby for her. She doesn't do it to support her family. If at any time she lost her job and had to do this for work, rather than fun, she thinks it might lose the fun and sexy factors, in which she might not want to continue in the end. But as for now, she and her husband love being on camera for their own hot, sexy and naughty adventures and sexual gratifications.
In most situations. When something becomes a "must do" rather than a "want to do," the fun starts to fade. I have had many times when I have just gotten sick of my work and can't bring myself to log on. Hell, I have been in that mood for the past couple of months now. This explains the break in my Cam Girl series. At that point it is best to take a step back if you can. It helps to break up the monotony.
When it comes to Steff speaking out, she has a few things to say. When asked what she would say if she could speak out to all the people who think her pastime is shameful or taboo, this is what she had to say: "Live and let live. Do not judge or condemn people, their actions, or their lifestyle just because of your own life choices. You are free to choose a life that you enjoy, and believe in, and so are we. I choose not to believe in polygamous or open marriages. I also do not judge or condemn the people that do believe in it and make a choice to participate. We are all fully capable of making our own decisions and life choices. If you do not agree, do not do it. Simple as that!! Do you want me to make your lifestyle choices for you?? Then do not do it for me." I say that is checkmate. Why the hell would someone try and tell you what is wrong or right for you? The way I figure it, if you have your life all figured out and perfect and have plenty of time on hand to worry about how other people live, then it’s time to have kids, or get a dog. If not, then worry about your own shit. Mine is just fine and dandy as is!
When Steff was asked what she would say to all the other people who work in the sex industry, she said, "Your body belongs to you. Never go farther than you are comfortable with and keep your head up high. Be proud of who you are and what you provide. You do not have to let others know you work in the sex industry but you have to continue to have pride in yourself and not take all the negative thoughts and ideals to heart. Do this for yourself and have fun with what you do. When it stops being fun, your clients can tell and it stops being worthwhile. You are working in an industry that has many negative connotations and misunderstandings. Stand up for yourself and be proud of who you are. This is but one facet of you as a person. Embrace yourself as a whole and let the rest of the negative and misunderstood part of the population deal with their own issues.” Very well said. You cannot ever be happy with yourself as a whole if you take everything to heart that doesn't even apply to you as a person. This is what you do; it is not who you are.
Many thanks to Steff for showing us that no matter why you decide to become a cam model, it doesn't define you. Whether you are doing it for sexual experimentation and gratification like Steff and her voyeur husband, or as a main source of income like Shayanne, it doesn't change who you are. Even Ivy Jones who identifies as a male in his everyday life, will take advantage of his anatomy and play up the cam girl persona for some quick cash. That certainly does not define who he is. But alas, people will always make their assumptions and accusations based on their own narrow views. All we can do is be who we are, do what we do, and hopefully one day, people will finally hear and understand what we say and do. That is why we, as sex workers, have decided to speak out.
Look for more articles in this new Sex Worker Appreciation series coming soon from sex workers in all sectors. Ranging from Cam Girls, to Escorts, and more!