Losing Your Virginity Hurts
Oftentimes I have heard friends talk about how the first time they had sex it hurt like hell. One friend told me she had to grind her teeth and dug into his back it was so painful. This simply should not happen. There may be some slight pain associated with losing your virginity, but it can be totally pain free as well. The hymen is often what causes pain during your first act of sex. Here is a great YouTube video that explains the hymen stretches: You Can't POP Your Cherry (Hymen 101).
The hymen needs time to stretch before sexual intercourse. Sometimes this requires more than a single day. So if sex is extremely painful, consider putting it off for a bit. Have more oral sex, use a small toy, and let your boyfriend finger you. Eventually the hymen should stretch more and your first sexual encounter should be a lot more pleasant. It is also important for a couple other things to happen during sexual intercourse. Both of you need to be relaxed. If you are not relaxed, you will tense up and contract your muscles. This will also happen with your vagina, making the opening smaller, and it will cause both you and your partner pain when he tries to insert his penis. So if you are not relaxed, try sex another day or talk or have more foreplay. Finally you need to be wet. There needs to be lubrication. Some women don’t always self lubricate when they are aroused. So if you are one of these people, consider buying some lubricant for your first time. If after all of these things sex is still painful, then you should probably go see a doctor as there could be some underlying physiological issues that can likely be fixed.
Turned On = Erection Or Sopping Wet
I have heard women ask me if I don’t find them attractive because I lost my erection or I wasn’t hard right when she wanted to be. Erections are complex. Sometimes it requires direct physical stimulation for myself. I can be super turned on, and super horny, and super in the mood and not have an erection. So just because a man is not hard does not mean he is not attracted to you, or doesn’t want to have sex with you.
This is further complicated by the fact many things can hamper your ability to get an erection. Alcohol, nervousness, and illness can all impact a guy’s ability to get an erection. All of them can make it more difficult even when he is turned on and even when he has his penis stimulated. So if I guy says he is into you but doesn’t have an erection, he is likely telling the truth.
The same holds true for women. Just because they are not wet does not mean they are not excited or sexually into you. Certain women do not lubricate as much as others; some women’s lubrication changes with hormonal cycles, with mood, with illness, and with nervousness. So again just because she isn’t wet, doesn’t mean she isn’t into you. The only sure fire way to tell if someone is turned on is to ask. The brain is your real sex organ, not your genitals.
STIs and Pregnancy Cannot Happen On Your First Time
STIs or sexually transmitted infections are caused by bacteria and viruses. Pregnancy is caused by a sperm meeting an egg. Both of these only require one exposure to happen. So both of them can happen when you lose your virginity. There's nothing special about the first time you have sex that protects you from either of these. So use a condom, use protection, because these are serious concerns right from the very first time you have sex.
Herpes (or genitals warts) is caused by a virus that transfers from skin to skin contact. So you can get oral herpes from kissing someone, and genitals herpes if your genitals come in contact (even with a condom on).
Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are caused by bacteria that grow in the vagina or penis, throat and anus. So all types of sex can transmit these diseases. A condom is a good way to prevent transmission. They can also be cured with antibiotics.
HIV/AIDS is caused by a blood borne virus. The virus can get into both semen and vaginal secretions, so penetration (vaginal and anal) can cause transmission.
All of these can happen to everyone regardless of sexual experience. So do not think you cannot get pregnant or catch an STI just because this is the first time.
If you have any questions or want more knowledge feel free to ask in the comments.
Oftentimes I have heard friends talk about how the first time they had sex it hurt like hell. One friend told me she had to grind her teeth and dug into his back it was so painful. This simply should not happen. There may be some slight pain associated with losing your virginity, but it can be totally pain free as well. The hymen is often what causes pain during your first act of sex. Here is a great YouTube video that explains the hymen stretches: You Can't POP Your Cherry (Hymen 101).
The hymen needs time to stretch before sexual intercourse. Sometimes this requires more than a single day. So if sex is extremely painful, consider putting it off for a bit. Have more oral sex, use a small toy, and let your boyfriend finger you. Eventually the hymen should stretch more and your first sexual encounter should be a lot more pleasant. It is also important for a couple other things to happen during sexual intercourse. Both of you need to be relaxed. If you are not relaxed, you will tense up and contract your muscles. This will also happen with your vagina, making the opening smaller, and it will cause both you and your partner pain when he tries to insert his penis. So if you are not relaxed, try sex another day or talk or have more foreplay. Finally you need to be wet. There needs to be lubrication. Some women don’t always self lubricate when they are aroused. So if you are one of these people, consider buying some lubricant for your first time. If after all of these things sex is still painful, then you should probably go see a doctor as there could be some underlying physiological issues that can likely be fixed.
Turned On = Erection Or Sopping Wet
I have heard women ask me if I don’t find them attractive because I lost my erection or I wasn’t hard right when she wanted to be. Erections are complex. Sometimes it requires direct physical stimulation for myself. I can be super turned on, and super horny, and super in the mood and not have an erection. So just because a man is not hard does not mean he is not attracted to you, or doesn’t want to have sex with you.
This is further complicated by the fact many things can hamper your ability to get an erection. Alcohol, nervousness, and illness can all impact a guy’s ability to get an erection. All of them can make it more difficult even when he is turned on and even when he has his penis stimulated. So if I guy says he is into you but doesn’t have an erection, he is likely telling the truth.
The same holds true for women. Just because they are not wet does not mean they are not excited or sexually into you. Certain women do not lubricate as much as others; some women’s lubrication changes with hormonal cycles, with mood, with illness, and with nervousness. So again just because she isn’t wet, doesn’t mean she isn’t into you. The only sure fire way to tell if someone is turned on is to ask. The brain is your real sex organ, not your genitals.
STIs and Pregnancy Cannot Happen On Your First Time
STIs or sexually transmitted infections are caused by bacteria and viruses. Pregnancy is caused by a sperm meeting an egg. Both of these only require one exposure to happen. So both of them can happen when you lose your virginity. There's nothing special about the first time you have sex that protects you from either of these. So use a condom, use protection, because these are serious concerns right from the very first time you have sex.
Herpes (or genitals warts) is caused by a virus that transfers from skin to skin contact. So you can get oral herpes from kissing someone, and genitals herpes if your genitals come in contact (even with a condom on).
Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are caused by bacteria that grow in the vagina or penis, throat and anus. So all types of sex can transmit these diseases. A condom is a good way to prevent transmission. They can also be cured with antibiotics.
HIV/AIDS is caused by a blood borne virus. The virus can get into both semen and vaginal secretions, so penetration (vaginal and anal) can cause transmission.
All of these can happen to everyone regardless of sexual experience. So do not think you cannot get pregnant or catch an STI just because this is the first time.
If you have any questions or want more knowledge feel free to ask in the comments.
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