I like to feel pretty. Show me the woman that doesn't like to be admired and loved, and I'll show you a liar. As a single mother, on the other hand, there are days when I look in the mirror and feel like crawling back into bed. It's hard parenting on my own, and I don't always have time to do things for myself. I miss having someone to kiss me and tell me I look good even when I know I don't. Over the past year or so I've come to realize something. I can give myself that little boost of self esteem! Who are you waiting for? Love yourself!
-Indulge in a new pair of jeans just because they make you feel pretty.
-Paint your nails because you like the color.
-Slather your skin in lotion just to see how soft you can be.
-Buy sexy underwear even though no one will see them besides you.
-Eat your favorite food and to hell with the calories! (Just this once)
-Read a trashy romance novel every once in awhile.
-Rediscover who you are and what you like.
Make your body a comfortable place to be, and I can guarantee that it will show through your level of self esteem and your confidence. People will notice something different, and more importantly you'll feel different. I'm comfortable with being single because I love myself. I'm not going to wait until I'm in a relationship to step up my game. My door is open, the lights are on, and there are most likely cookies in the oven. I am a warm, loving person, and I just happen to have room for one more.
I think that sometimes we get lost in another person. My last relationship lasted two years and some change, and when I found myself single, I was a little lost. Then, bit by bit, things started to come back to me. I liked to spend my free time reading, instead of going out with him. If I dressed up, it was because I was having a girly day and not because it was expected. I could wear my favorite heels again. Freedom crept back into my life, and I reveled in it. Being in a relationship is a wonderful thing, but it's okay to be single for awhile too.
I would be missing something if I didn't also touch on the matter of sexual self love. In a relationship, it can be easy to get accustomed to your partner's particular habits, and that's very gratifying. But once single, many women I've spoken with on the matter expressed that they had almost forgotten how to give themselves a good orgasm. Taking that into consideration, once I really thought about it I realized I had forgotten it too. Explore your body and reacquaint yourself with different erogenous zones. You may be surprised that things have changed. As an example, a couple years back I loved having my breasts played with, but oral sex was nothing special; and now, it takes clawed nipple clamps to get much of a reaction at all, whereas my clit has turned into a magic button that makes me see stars. It also helps put you back in touch with the sensual side of yourself, to know what you like. You can own your body fully, bringing together the mundane aspects of life with the sexual side, forming a happy, carefree woman. Sure there will be bumps along the "single" road, from the friends who all seem to be dating, to the nights where you're just plain lonely, but in the end it's good to be alone every once in awhile, so you appreciate yourself fully.