I have dealt with chronic pain every day for over seven years now. You know that pain scale the doctors use from one to ten? Mine is a 5-6 most days. Sex can get very uncomfortable. I wanted sex, and a lot of it. But taking all the meds every day was getting old. I hated the way most of the pain killers felt. Plus they really didn't work. I mean they would take the edge off but that was it. I decided to stop and learn to deal with the pain in different ways.
Yoga is a great way to stretch muscles and get them to relax. I found that some positions were so wonderful that I didn't want to move. The downward dog was the first. It stretched out my back and legs. Oh it felt so great. I found that the small pain that I felt after a day of cleaning was going away. Of course it doesn't stay away but this helps. There are great videos out there these days. I even found naked yoga which can be very fun. No, I don't know where I got it from. You can do yoga anywhere. It is so travel friendly. Once you know the moves, you can break them out to use anywhere. Once I went to the casino with my husband for a date night. We had only been there for 30 minutes. My back started hurting badly. I went to the restroom and in the stall I put down paper towels and put my hand on the floor (doing the downward dog) for a few minutes. I was able to relieve the pain doing this several times. Our night lasted about two hours. That was a lot longer then what we would have had.
I have a Tens unit. This is a device that gives a small electrical shock. It is placed where you have pain. It is to help block the pain receptors from firing off, thus decreasing the pain. I had to get this from my therapist, although you can get them anywhere (But I recommend you see a doctor). At first I really couldn't feel it due to the nerve damage I had. After awhile I started to feel relief (for me anyway). I almost have to have it up on the highest level to even get that relief. I find that I like that feeling. I have also found that you can use these to enhance your sexual pleasure. Before my surgery I never really was in to that kind of thing. Now I find that with the decrease in sensation that I have that this helps. I have embraced the sensation and it works for me.
Sex positions I know can be a concern. I couldn't lie on my back for months after my surgery. Now that I have bursitis in both hips and fibromyalgia, things get tricky. I got the Kama Sutra book, which was fun to try all the different positions to see which ones would work the best for me. Sex is a huge emotional lift. I know and my husband will tell you I am less bitchy afterwords. My kids most likely see it as well. It's a great stress reliever. I find that because of my back and my hip, sex furniture can help with positioning. We use an Esse couch. It has a great shape. Comfortable. You can have multiple positions with this. There are so many different things out there to use for positioning yourself. Because they are expensive, what I suggest is that you try to shop flea markets and refurbish furniture that will work. Sometimes it is cheaper to make what you want if you can build and sew.
Massage is another way to make pain go away. Touch is a powerful tool. We use it in all kinds of ways. We were not made to be alone. We were made to be in pairs. Plus when we have our lovers massage us, it is so much better and it don't cost money. My husband works outside all day. His hands are hard when I hold them. For some reason when he goes to massage my back when I hurt, his hands turn soft. My pain seems to melt away. The power of his touch can make me feel so much better. I can't believe how I feel afterwords.
Of course pain is something that is different for each of us. But I am hoping that what I have found that works for me will help someone else in the same way. I hope to have people talk about what helps them so people with chronic pain can come together and help each other to live a better day.