If you have been reading my out of the box articles, you know I had a surgery on my back that left me with some serious medical issues. Well I have been battling with the court for seven years now. I found out that I had lost. The courts told me that they could not draw a conclusion that my job was at fault. I could appeal, yes, but after seven years and a lot of crap I am done in so many ways. I was mad. I texted my mom and sister and told them. I also asked them please do not call me. I will call you when I am ready is what I told them. I asked my sister to call my dad. Well my mom called me that night, go figure she never respects my wishes. I needed to figure everything out.
October 4, 2012 was my husband's last day of work. Then he has one week to find companies around our area that might want to send him converters for his new company. So I have one week, yep, one week and he will be on his way to Biloxi, MS. This is where he will start over. He and a good friend of his have gone into business together. This has been going well. Everything has been going well down there so far. His friend has been down there working the company and getting things started.
See we were supposed to be down there a few months ago but...on Aug 7 my husband came home and within a half hour his friend called and told him the guy they were trying to buy the company from was killed. You read that right, MURDERED. See he met a friend that he had worked with for years. This friend shot him and then burned him in his truck. So everything for us stopped. Rightly so. We waited while the family dealt with their stuff. The daughter wanted to continue with the sell. We picked it up from there. We just finished up. My husband and his friend still feel bad that this all happened and hope that this was not over the sale of the business.
Anyhow, we hoped to be gone by now. The cold weather is very hard on me. I hurt more as it gets colder. But we have to sell our house first. So far we have had no luck. We have a crappy realtor. We won't go there right now. Right now I have four days to get my act together before he leaves. Biloxi is 14 hours away. I don't know when I will see my husband again. The weather is cold and my back is bad due to the weather. Ugh! The Box Is Small and Getting Smaller.
My kids are 12 and 14 years old and they had to grow up way too fast as it is. Most likely when he leaves they will step up. They are great. We have lived here in Illinois now for 12 years and we have no family here. So calling for back up is not an option when I need help. Believe me when I needed it my mom wasn't here anyway. When I came home from the hospital I could barely walk, hell I could barely move. My mom didn't come to help. I didn't see her for months after. So I have no help. I have been told I am strong. Heck I have been told I should not be alive. I am here.
My solution for some of our stepping out of the box has been spicing up our sex life. Well that will be put on hold for a while. However, I have found that there are hands free toys. Go ahead and laugh. I am close to forty and my body is changing. Right now I have been getting into moods where I have to have sex like right now. So I have things I can use. I have been exploring my body even with what has happened to me. The huge scar I have. I can now look at myself in a good light. I feel as if I can like myself again. I can start to give more of myself to my husband. And when I finally move to Biloxi, I want to be able to let go of everything that has happened to me in Illinois and be FREE.