August 08, 2012

Tokophobia: Fear of Childbirth

by Miss Nessa

Tokophobia: ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokophobia|As defined by Wikipedia]) described the fear of childbirth or pregnancy as a psychological disorder, when it had previously received little to no attention as such, in addition to introducing the term tokophobia (from the Greek tokos, meaning childbirth and phobos, meaning fear). Tokophobia is also widely ascribed to the fear of pregnancy, and may also be called "maieusiophobia."

What are my pregnancy fears?

1. Death/Pain
2. Miscarriage
3. Delivering a baby too early
4. The baby becoming stuck.
5. Ripping

If you haven’t noticed I placed death and pain at the very top and together, because in my head I don’t know which would be worse. I know some of you may think this is a bit much, or feel like I need to grow up, but this is a legitimate fear that I have. It’s badly affected my life, and when it comes to the subject of giving birth. I don’t see it getting better. The sad part is that I WANT children, I’d love to be a mom but my fear triumphs over the want to be a mother any day. I worry what it will do to my relationship because my boyfriend wants to have children, but if I don’t overcome this, me being a mother will never happen.

There isn’t a real cure for this as of now because it’s still new, and not that many doctors know about it. My doctor is taking her own approach to helping the problem, although we’ve only just started. I don’t see this being easy to do. The trick is to reteach your brain how to view pregnancy, and that isn’t easy to do when you’ve thought one way for such a long time. My doctor thinks these following steps will help me overcome this fear. No one knows how long this will take.

Step one - Find the root cause of why you may be afraid of childbirth.
Step two - Learn the statistic on the rates of having a miscarriage, or anything else that could possibly go wrong.
Step three - Learn what actually happens during a pregnancy
Step four - Learn what actually happens during childbirth (no just perfect one, but ones that also have complications)
Step five - Once you’ve learned everything it’s time to try and change your train of thought about childbirth.
Step six - Realize that not everything happens perfectly but because it doesn’t that shouldn’t stop you from trying.

I know the steps I need to take to hopefully help overcome this fear. I can personally see myself getting stuck on step number five, because I’m stubborn. I have yet to come in contact with someone who is suffering from it and knows the name, or knows that this is even something real. I’m sharing this to let you know you AREN’T crazy and that this is something that can be treated, especially for those who want to be mothers.

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