One of the hottest topics in the recent Olympic news seems to be the virginity, or occasionally lack thereof, of the competitors. I’ve so far read about two Olympic athletes, both women, coming out as virgins.
The first one I heard about was Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones. When I first heard about it, I was like, “Oh, great, yet something else the media will pick on someone about.” After reading some articles interviewing her, though, I found a lot of them were actually pretty respectful of her decision to remain a virgin. Her reviews are actually pretty touching as she reaches out to other virgins going through the struggle to save themselves for marriage. I really have nothing but the utmost respect for this.
I, myself, unfortunately, never planned to save myself for marriage. Sure, when I was in school we were all taught that we should abstain from the “evils” of sex, but really, who listens to teachers anymore? I support abstinence if that is something other people want to do. I’m not going to badmouth someone for making such an important life choice, even if it’s not something I can fully share with them.
I did at least plan to save myself for a serious relationship, rather than lose my virginity to the first jerk to con himself into my pants. I believe when I finally did, I was 16 or 17. I was expecting it to hurt quite a bit because that was what everyone said to expect. There was also a slight fear that I would start bleeding quite a bit.
My first time was with my first serious boyfriend. I have a terrible memory, so I really can barely remember the goings on up until the particular moment we decided to take our clothes off. We had some condoms from Wal-Mart and a bottle of KY jelly sitting next to my bed. Since it hurt terribly after he had inserted himself the first half an inch or so, I was telling him to go slowly. It was all like, “Okay, you can go in a little further...STOP...pull it back out some…okay go in a little more…OW!” Eventually he managed to slide himself inside of me all the way without any pain. It didn’t feel good, but it didn’t hurt anymore. I was confused since people carry on about how amazing/magical it is and it turned out to be pretty boring for me.
Despite the initial pain and the lack of good sensations from my first time, I decided to try it again and again. After a while, sex did begin to feel good, which was a surprise for me. I was kind of expecting it to be awful for the rest of my life.
Looking back, I do wish I had had someone to talk to about this other than my one crude and not very informative friend. My parents never had “the talk” with me and seemed a bit unsure how to handle such a discussion with me, so I was unable to go to them. If I had had a reliable source to go to, maybe like an older sister or cousin or something, I would have felt more confident and informed about sex. If someone had told me the day after my first time, “I know what you’re going through and it does get a lot better,” I probably would have been quite a bit more enthusiastic to continue trying, rather than being a bit wary.
I randomly came across a quote online from TLC's show The Virgin Diaries. I've seen the show once on TV. I'm usually interested in watching TV shows about people's relationships with others, sexual or otherwise. One woman says, "I'm just not interested in doing it until I find the right person. You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet." To me, this is a pretty good quote to live by. Why choose just anyone to share a special moment with?
Really, though, I do commend women for holding off on sex until marriage or other important life events. It can wait. I can understand how they feel if they’re unsure they are ready to have sex. I had those same thoughts before and after my first time. I don’t think people should be judged on the status of their virginity since we all started off at that point anyway.