A little over a year ago, my marriage was not in the best place.
The reason? It wasn’t finances or those day to day things that cause problems in so many marriages. It was sex. You see, when my husband and I got together we had an explosive sex life. It was like we had discovered sex together for the first time, even though we had both started having sex at a young age. For most of our relationship there was a brewing sexual fire between us that couldn’t be put out - until the day it was.
Priorities change in life, and we decided to start a family. I got pregnant and the hormone changes didn’t agree with me. My once raging sex drive tanked into oblivion. It took only a month, perhaps less, of this before the fighting began. We were the couple that never argued and now it was all we did all because we were so sexually frustrated.
Things continued on like this for more time than I care to admit. I caught my husband talking to girls online and buying up porn like it was going out of style. I broke down. I didn’t know how to get us back to that couple we used to be. I didn’t know how to enjoy sex again. At that moment, it was the last thing I wanted. We tried therapy, but it only got us so far, because sex is one of those topics therapists mostly don’t want to talk about, especially if the sex you were having before involved a lot of kink (and ours did).
It dawned on me one day that we had stopped collecting sex toys. Back in our early days, going to the local sex shop and finding something new to play with used to be our regular Saturday routine. One evening I suggested we go to the fancy shop downtown. It was that day that I was introduced to luxury sex toys - and their price tag. Dedicated to trying to fix my broken marriage and thinking that this was the way to do it, I started searching online to find the toys I had my eye on somewhere cheaper. What I found was EdenFantasys and something more than a good price on a luxury item.
Within two days, I had gone all over Eden’s site. I found the review program and the forums. I learned that I could use my writing skills to start building our collection up again and share some info on what was good and what wasn’t along the way. My initial thought was that it would be a good way to get some toys for free and get my marriage back to where it was.
I started out reviewing and using the toys I received only with my husband. I’d never really masturbated much since I was a teenager because I’d never been able to bring myself to a good orgasm before doing so. I had given up on the concept. A few too textured and too large toys in and I decided that perhaps testing things out on my own wasn’t such a bad idea.
I started to discover myself in a way that I never thought I would. I’m multi-orgasmic, by nature, and it doesn’t take much to get me to orgasm during sex. What I learned is that there are ways to make me orgasm much harder and much longer. I learned what types of vibrations actually felt good rather than just okay. I learned what angles would hit my G-spot that I would have sworn was hidden somewhere deep in the recesses of my body. I learned how to actually please myself. Had you told me a year ago this was something I would be able to do I would have laughed it off. I would have bet money that I couldn’t do it.
What happens when you learn about your own sexuality? You can pass the information along. I started to communicate with my husband which toys felt good and why. I told him what speeds I liked, how much pressure, what angle to use. Where before we stumbled upon explosive sex, now we were talking our way through it. The more I reviewed and learned how to articulate how things felt and why I liked or disliked them, the better I got at communicating my sexual needs to him. As I communicated my needs to him, he began to show me his.
This, of course, is just what happened from reviewing. Then there are the forums, where people from all walks of life come and discuss things ranging from sex to what was on TV yesterday. I got active on the forums quickly. Where reviewing got me in touch with basic sexual needs, the forums reminded me of a big missing link in our sex life - kink.
As things got better and better between us, I began reintroducing the kink aspect that I believe kept our sex life so explosive in the beginning. Only this time, with the help of forum members, I was upping the stakes. Before, we had under the bed restraints. Now, I was buying leather locking cuffs. It wasn’t long until my husband was requesting more and more kink related items. I continued to search the forums and read advice from those with many years experience.
So what has Eden changed for me? In short - everything. I had a marriage on the brink of collapse, a family about to fall to pieces. I was a kinky girl living a miserable, unsatisfying vanilla life. I didn’t know how to please myself or what I wanted well enough to tell my husband that I was just as miserable as he was. A year of Eden later and I have a happy home, an enviable sex toy collection, and knowledge of myself that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
A year ago my trust in my husband was broken to the point I thought it might not be repaired. Today I wear his collar around my neck, proof positive of my complete trust in him and his decisions for us. A year ago I had nothing I wanted in a relationship - sexually or otherwise. Now every day we work towards a stronger and better relationship in every aspect, on our on terms, in our own way. We want for nothing and I can’t say we would be where we are now without Eden.