First, an unnamed Italian businessman recently paid $18,000 for a hyper-realistic sex doll that looks exactly like his ex girlfriend—with bigger breasts and a curvier butt, of course. The manufacturer, Diego Bortolin, who creates high-end sex repicants at his shop called Temptations, usually charges around $5,000 for a hand-crafted amante—only this time, the price went up because he had to “replicate everything” from photos of the businessman’s ex. One would think the man would have gone for the less expensive, more animated option of a Japanese Virtual Girlfriend because they don’t do any of that pesky talking.

Meanwhile, proclaimed “anti-feminist” New York lawyer Roy Den Hollander’s recent bid to serve up equal rights to male and female club goers in Manhattan has been shot down by the courts. Ladies’ Night is still sanctioned under law, as the judge ruled that the prosecutors failed to prove that nightclubs “engage in state action” simply because they held state liquor licenses. Said clubs will certainly be “engaging” in different kinds of “action,” but so far, nobody’s suing over that.

Elsewhere, other folks have foregone the whole dating thing altogether, and won’t be showing up at Ladies’—or any other—Night anytime soon. One such “folk” is Sarah Cassidy, who, as a high ranking member of the Opus Dei Catholic sect, ties a barbed chain garter around her thigh every day in lieu of having sex. The chain, called a cilice, is part of the “mortification of flesh” ritual that Opus Dei members practice regularly. They must have spectacular willpower. If we bound that kinky little chain around our thighs, it would probably just turn us on.