""Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.""
Your Mind Is Your Own Worst Enemy
Everyone knows the saying, “life is like a roller coaster”. The way I see it, sometimes I want it to slow down and sometimes I want to jump off the highest peak. Anything to slow the madness around me.
When people talk to me, they always tell me how they think I am doing so great with all that I have been dealt. A controlling, abusive, and drug addicted ex-husband, one that took me years of hiding out from and court battles to divorce. Taking care of a terminally ill father that copes with his pain by excessive drinking and inhaling. Both are very expensive but not as expensive as the alternative doctor prescribed medication that doesn't work for anything. I’m also a single parent of 3 young children, one of whom has her father’s severe anger issues and my youngest is autistic amongst other issues. If only they knew what really was going on in this messed up head of mine!
In all actuality, I am a social butterfly when it comes to the internet. I can sit here and talk openly about which dildo I used where and how many pumps it took before I was relieved of my lady juices. And then I can leave here and hop on and work where I show it all in full detail. I have no inhibitions and hold nothing back. I tell it how it is and smile while I am doing it.
But when it comes to the real world I am a social mute. I am the one at family gatherings that sits in the back of the room, out of view, with my face in a book. I am the one that ignores the phone when my own family is calling, yet picks up for bill collectors. I tell all my friends I have given up my cell phone, just so I only have to hear from them via social networking which is easy to deal with when I am in the mood. Granted, this is me in my depressive “don't really give a fuck anymore” mood which may make it sound more depressing written into words. But that’s it. That’s how I roll.
All I want is for my family to be healthy and happy. I want my son to be able to have is little quirks without facing ridicule from people who don’t understand it. I want my girls to have a happy disposition, yet know that they can say what they think as long as it’s in a good manner. And I want my father to not, well, die. I want to move out of this shitty house where everything breaks but the rent is easily made every month because it is insanely low. I want to take my kids to get ice cream without having to balance my account first to make sure there is enough in there to do it. And, for fuck sake, I want to be able to go a week without falling into a huge depression and having to take my anxiety pills just to make it through the night!
Is this too much to ask? Whatever, I want it anyway.
Viewers Want What They Want
Someone comes into your session (hypothetically speaking) and they tell you that you look sexy and they want to fuck you. That is your cue to become bashful, maybe blush a little and act like they are saying something the 400 other viewers haven't already said. But what do you do when you really want to tell them to get off the damn porn sites and go fuck their wife who is probably asleep in bed completely ignorant to the fact that their husband is spending a good chunk of his paycheck on watching my pussy sweat! Now of course we can't say that. Or can we?
If you haven't noticed by now, I tend to be a bitch. Not a bitch in the sense that I just like pissing people off and will do anything in my power to do so, or think that I am all high and mighty and have the right to. But I am a bitch in the sense that, If something pops into my head, I am going to say it. I may laugh it off like a joke, but when I say something, you can pretty much take it to the bank that it is real. I don’t lie, I don’t play, and I certainly don’t have a filter. Why bother? Half the guys I see on a nightly basis do it because they love that about me. They like me putting them in their place, which is great because, quite frankly, I have way too little interest in playing games.
Don’t get me wrong. I have been in sales for a very long time and that is really all you need to make it in a business like this. Know how to read the customer and know how to sell yourself. I can play the ditzy girl who doesn’t have a brain but who has a pretty pussy. But why bother when I can have a rough day, hop online and get paid to take my stress out on paying customers. I mean really, if someone was willing to pay you, per minute, to do and say whatever you wanted would you really play nice and just giggle and tee-hee your way around the conversation, or would you really give it to him? I think the answer is quite simple.
Mr. Pens L. Dick
Mr. Pens L. Dick, which might actually be his real name, I'm not sure, is one of my favorites. He sends me a message a few days a week asking how my day was. If I say “fine” or “good” or anything along those lines, he simply bids me a good day and waits a few days until he tries again. Now if I respond to his email and I say, "listen fucker, I have had a shitty day and I am really not in the mood to talk to some string bean dicked mother fucker, so back off," he instantly shows up in my double charge per minute private session. He loves when I have had a bad day.
He comes in and says something simple, “Oh, I see you decided not to wear lipstick tonight,” or anything that he knows I don’t like doing, and waits for me to go off. I will sit there and yell at him and tell him what an ugly worthless piece of shit he is and the only use for him is the money in his wallet. Occasionally I kick him out of my room when I am really steamed and he is getting really turned on and I max out my price per minute. When he comes back in I go off on him some more.
He loves this and it turns him on so much that he turns on his camera and he is stroking himself while I unleash my anger on him. Which, of course, is supposed to piss me off more so I steam and steam and keep on yelling, lucky for me it usually takes him about 20 minutes or longer to get off. Then I laugh at him for not being manly enough to shoot a big load and the night is done. He apologizes for making me angry and leaves, at least until the next time. Oddly enough, I usually wake up in a pretty chill mood the next day. It’s like reverse billing therapy!
Until Next Time!
I hope you enjoyed this installment of A Day in the Life of a Cam Girl. I will be interviewing some of the girls and couples in my studio and you can see the cam whoring world from another point of view. All my models have signed releases and are ready to go, so stay tuned!