"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
I have always been an opinionated person, but often kept many of those opinions to myself out of fear -- fear of ridicule, fear of being wrong, fear of sounding stupid, and many other reasons, some too silly to name. Because of this fear, I found myself keeping my feelings in and becoming a brooding, cranky girl, seemingly content in being not content. This began to change upon my discovery of EdenFantasys. How refreshing to be able to express myself in an open way and be able to talk about sexuality without feeling uncomfortable.
I was introduced to Eden by one of my friends who runs a solo XXX site. She suggested I try to do reviews on the site as a way to build my collection. I looked around the site, read reviews, checked out the forums and viewed contributor profiles. I was immediately intrigued, and was ready to create my own profile. I loved the supportive nature and the ability to be anonymous in a way. I could express opinions about my ideas on all sorts of topics, not just sexuality, in a forum made up of people from all walks of life, a forum full of like-minded and non-judgmental folks. What a dream come true! The fear of expressing myself began to fade as I got more and more comfortable in the community.
I sat down with some of the toys I owned and got to work. After writing a few reviews and being accepted into the Advanced Reviewer program, I decided to try out the mentor program to help me with writing better reviews. Through it, I rediscovered what I liked about writing and being expressive. I especially liked the fact that I was contributing to something worthwhile, something that other people were reading and enjoying. I was helping people through my writing, and getting to try new toys at the same time. Bliss!
My mentor, Blue Karen, was supportive beyond my expectations, as was everyone else. I have grown as a writer, as a person and as a partner to my long time boyfriend. I love sharing what I have learned on Eden with him. He loves how much more open I am with him. Now he gets just as excited as I do when I have a package on the way. I am very excited to have just been accepted as a mentor myself. Now I can guide and encourage students of my own and give them a warm welcome to the Eden family, just as Blue Karen did for me.
The web cam career has fallen to the wayside, but not my connection with EdenFantasys. The confidence I have gained on EdenFantasys has spread into the rest of my life. My freelancing career is beginning to take off. My boyfriend and I are taking action and moving in a direction toward what we really want to do with our lives. I don't get so cranky anymore -- maybe it's because of all those extra orgasms -- that and all the support I have found here. Thank you Eden Community for helping me to blossom!