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DINKs: Double Income, No Kids

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"First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes The Baby In The Baby Carriage." Many of us have sung this little song as children and come to accept this as just basic common sense of how life is supposed to be. But is it really? Isn't having children a choice? Is having children really a choice if it's expected of you? That doesn't seem like a fair description of the word choice.

  Expectations

Society doesn’t particularly understand the childfree choice as a whole. Many childfree couples are deemed childless. Relatives and friends of childfree couples may not understand what the term really means. Too often childfree couples are told they are going through a phase which will pass. Too often childfree couples are told they don’t know what they really want. Being childfree is viewed more as a handicap or living an incomplete life than an option or choice. It goes against social norms and evokes pity by those who feel childfree couples are missing out on the purpose of life.


If you go to a gas station, a supermarket, or a pharmacy you can easily pick up condoms. Go to the doctor or the health department and you can get birth control pills or a contraceptive shot. Schedule an appointment for a quick procedure and you can get an implant in your arm. Birth control isn’t just available to prevent early pregnancies; it’s also there to prevent unwanted pregnancies. There are a ton of avenues one can take to prevent pregnancy and yet there is an expectation by our friends and families for when we are to stop playing and start procreating.

  But The Bible Says...

Genesis 1:28 – “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, ‘Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.’” This passage is an overly expressed reminder to those who live a childfree life by those who disagree with the choice. For followers of the Bible, Genesis 1:28 gives a clear instruction, or blessing, to procreate. “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it….” These instructions say many things from this one line. It says to be fruitful and multiply; have children. It says to replenish the earth; replenish means to restock or fill up again. And it says to subdue it; synonymous with suppress or control. This was referring to a time when the earth was not populated. This was right after the creation of Adam and Eve. In present time there are debates about the population of the earth where people are trying to determine if we are overpopulated or not. There are about 7,000,000,000 people on the earth, and the population is growing at a very high rate. If we are not overpopulated, with 7 billion people on this earth, why is it such a bad thing for a small group of people to choose not to procreate? If we are overpopulated why is it a bad choice for couples who choose the childfree lifestyle to help “subdue it?”

  Most Important Part Of Life

The most common argument presented to childfree couples by parents is the presumption that they will miss out on the most important part of life: parenting. What many fail to realize is one person’s desires don’t always match their own. Parenting may be the most important part of that particular parent’s life. It doesn’t necessarily mean it will fit everybody’s idea of what is most important to them. It’s phenomenal for a parent to be proud of their children and make a difference in a young person’s life. It’s amazing how the human body creates life and how much joy that can bring. But parenting isn’t meant for everyone. What brings joy to one person might bring regret to another. Childfree people don’t hate kids. Some make the best aunts and uncles, the best babysitters, the best company. Some enjoy the company of babies and children as much as anyone else but prefer to go home to their spouse without having to add a small person to their relationship.

  It's A Choice

Not everyone has the desire to have their own children. Not everyone thinks producing kids will make them whole. Not everyone thinks their relationship is missing a baby. It doesn’t make a relationship lesser than anyone else’s. Having children is a huge step. It’s a decision that should not be taken lightly, yet it is expected to have a one-way answer. This is a choice. Being childfree isn’t the end of the world. It’s just the path less traveled.

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Comments

Theo S.  

This is definitely a generational thing. Everyone I know under 30 understands this completely.

01/28/2013
jr2012  

I have always seen myself as remaining childfree...even when I was a little girl I never had that fantasy about having a baby to care for. I mean...we totally understand when people say they could never be a doctor because they can't stand to see blood, or don't want to be a lawyer because they don't like public speaking. In my opinion this is the same.

My parents know this about me, and I think they are a little sad about the fact. I think that's the hardest part of choosing to live this way. I feel a little guilty about never giving them grandkids, but I don't feel any regret about passing on the experience of parenting.

I see the term "childfree" on the internet often enough, but hardly ever in day to day life. I would love to see it become more of a commonly understood belief.

02/03/2013

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