August 07, 2012

Food and Sex: Sexy, Yummy, Edible Stuff

by PuddlePuppy

Food? In the bedroom? Really? Really. PuddlePuppy's here to tell you all about it.

So you want to eat something yummy off of your love buddy's naughty bits?

This is normal. Eating something yummy 'out of' your love buddy's naughty bits is... Also somewhat normal, but another article.

It's nothing to be afraid of, just make sure the other person knows before you start slathering them in pasta sauce and banging away.

Perhaps raw sexuality isn't what you're looking for in food though. Or rather, maybe you're looking for sexy food rather than sex with food added, there's a specific dig for you as well.

The act of eating food off of a very naked someone without the need or obligation of anything else is actually sort of common. It's popular origin is from Japan and it's called Nyotaimori, which translated is: "Female Body Presentation." In it's male form it is referred to as Nantaimor. But in either case it's nicknamed, 'body sushi.'

Body sushi has actually gone kind of pandemic in recent years. So now in certain cities in a long list of countries you can pay between $75 and $250 and enjoy a night of champagne, sake, music and getting to eat food off a naked person at the local Nyotaimori party or restaurant.

However, though Nyotaimori restaurants and parties are becoming more common, you're probably looking for something a bit more 'at home' accessible right?

So, let's start with the obvious. Whipped cream.

Whipped cream is my most commonly used sex prop when it comes to food. It is actually one of the only foods (aside the odd cucumber, melted chocolate, bananas, honey, lollipops ect ect ok fine but still.) that is referred to sexually in the media today. It's sugary sweet, aesthetically pleasing, easily applied to the desired area, and overall, easily and un-embarrassingly bought from pretty much anywhere. (Buying it with accompanying condoms and lube, not as discrete though. Just sayin.)

Though from what you hear from everyone else's sexy stories and what you see in movies and on tv, you'd figure it was the only applicable food to a steamy session with your chosen mate of the moment.

But sit down my friend, and let me spin you a tail of perverted possibility.

Think of all the amazing foods that come in forms comparable to whipped cream, I realize a few of them might seem weird in theory but in practice are at least fun to try and at best just as well as any other edible licked or nipped off of your lovers body.

Cheese whizz for instance, which is a much better drawing medium than whipped cream, is just as edible and though some people do find it yucky is just as sensual. Savory flavor meeting smooth texture against your tongue against your lovers... Selected area of skin. ;)

Along the list of similar savory or sweet supplemental foods is also things more confectionary such as icing or chocolate sauce. Caramel and honey too, though you really have to lick thoroughly to get those off.

There's even a fetish for people who like to feed other people! Guess what it's called. No, seriously. Guess...

They're called Foodees! The ones who like to feed people are called Feeders and the ones who are fed are called Feedees.

I watched a porno once where there was a few randomly bewildering scenes, one had a man bedding down a rather attractive mature BBW, and for the entire 18 minutes of the scene he was feeding her glazed donuts. During the time I was on a phone call with a friend because I am totally desensitized and now watch low quality porn so I can pretend to be in MST3K, and we were discussing this strange sex act. At the time I had no idea why he was feeding her donuts, and kept exasperatedly telling my friend as we talked, "Yeah, he's still feeding her donuts. Why is he feeding her donuts?!" if you're wondering, by the end of the scene she'd eaten a total of seven.

But they're called Foodees. And there's an entire world of food-related BBW appreciation with relations to an entire galaxy of separate but equal fetishes connected to it, but that's another article all together. (Jeeze I'm stacking these up.)

It doesn't even have to be that kinky or even that sexual. Romantic or suggestive foods are just as able to get a person hot without having to shove them in their pants, that's what aphrodisiacs are!

The food of love is literally strawberries. There is even an old folk tale explaining why I'm right. Either teasing your lover by sensually eating a strawberry, or feeding one to them in a rather... Tender manner, is very exciting. Sweeter when they're covered in chocolate, better still if you're doing it fondue style by yourselves.

A few other notable aphrodisiacs are oysters, chocolate, vanilla, and honey.

However those are just the classics. There are less known but just as potent ones out there which are probably a lot cheaper than oysters. Here's a list of a few. :
- Pine nuts, like oysters, are high in zinc. Which helps a lot with sperm production.
- Celery has a chemical called androsterone. Which is a male hormone, but when either gender eats it, it is processed into a pheromone and then your release it via perspiration. The scent of your celery-soaked sweat will have ladies (or gents) crawling all over you in no time.
- Chili peppers have capsaicin in them, which is what makes them spicy. When your mouth is burning though, your brain yells, "PAIN!" and then releases endorphins, which is the brains feel-good chemical. I suppose a spicy make-out session while your brain is flooding with homemade brain-dope sounds awesome, but remember that post-pepper cunnilingus is not suggestible unless a douche filled with milk is in arms reach of the bed. (Trust me.) (Fun fact that's sort of related. It's been tested and proven that the food whose scent turns women on the most is weirdly, pumpkin pie. I think that's kinda cool.)
And last but not least... The outcast, asparagus.
- Asparagus, is one of those things at least one of your friends will one day tell you, "Makes your dicksnot taste like shit." (<- That's nice Dad, great dinner conversation. Pass the gravy Grandma?) and ya know what? It's true. I've tested this, and my cum definitely wasn't as... Edible as usual.

HOWEVER despite this asparagus is chocked full of phytohormones that trigger sexual receptors of the brain, this is particularly effective in women.

And if you eat a slice or two of pineapple after dinner involving asparagus it usually neutralizes the taste. (Also 'scientifically' tested by me.)

So, let's bundle all this up nicely and send it off to bed with a light pat on the head and a kiss on the cheek then shall we?

There's an infinite schmorgesborg of food to eat off each other out there. What I suggest is that you experiment. There's a food to meet every taste, I guarantee you.

Even if it's not eating off one another, there's a number of foods that you can put in a romantic dinner to get you in the mood.

What I'm saying is that we are all humans right? We eat sleep and do the dirty. That's what they say, isn't it? But realize: Food is first on the list.

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