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Rape Isn't A Consequence

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Growing up, I was warned by many folks that there are situations we put ourselves in that can get us raped. I didn't question this until I experienced several instances at work that brought out the fear. I learned how ugly the fear is, and how the warnings seemed to endorse that rape was a consequence for making bad decisions.

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Comments

Good job! We've come a long way from where we were just a few decades ago, but I agree this assumption is so pervasive it's hardly questioned.

02/03/2013

Thank you!

02/03/2013

I think the best point you made here is your statement that rape is a crime of violence. And taking that a little bit further my own worry for you, had I known you all those years you worked at the gas station, would have been simply that you worked at a dangerous place. Period. I sure wouldn't have wanted my own kids to work anywhere violent crime of any type was likely. Great job on the article!

02/04/2013

Thank you!

02/04/2013

" Boys aren’t taught don’t rape." I am so sick of this trope. Yes, boys are. Rape doesn't happen by accident. Rape doesn't happen because of ignorance. Rape is a deliberate choice by somebody to engage in sexual activity with somebody without their consent. Rape is a premeditated CRIME.

EVERYBODY knows it's wrong. Two year olds are taught that they shouldn't stick their fingers up their classmates nose without their permission, so 22 year olds know the same rules apply with their penises.

02/05/2013

Aside from that, great article!

02/05/2013

I applaud your folks for specifically teaching you "son, don't rape" unfortunately though we think this is common sense to all it clearly isn't emphasized as much as you might think. Since Highschool I have done some volunteer work with my local rape crisis centers and you do not know how many times an advocate, such as I was, heard a family member, spouse, or friend, (or even a doctor!) place blame on the victim for basically "knowing better than to...." be, wear, or do whatever it was before the crime took place. There is shame placed on many victims and fear of shame, if there weren't we'd see more than 54% of victims report their rapes. "Everybody" may know it is wrong but educating our society, kids (boys and girls), parents, law enforcement, and teachers on the Facts about rape won't hurt in fact I believe it will make a difference. I know at least in my generation the girls were watched more closely than the boys and the girls had tighter curfews than the boys did, and rape wasn't something that was talked about. The only implication of it in my peer group was a clear consensus that girls should be more careful and avoid certain things, and boys will be boys. I can't speak for most people and I don't claim that I do, I'm speaking from my perspective of my youth, teenage years, early adult years, and time spent with the crisis centers. In general, the emphasis on rape prevention is mostly placed on the ladies, not the gents. I think that is changing. Thanks for reading, Glad you liked It!

02/05/2013

This is such an important message to get out and I think that we can't hear it enough. Thanks for this article.

02/11/2013

I agree, thanks so much!

02/14/2013

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