"I truly feel as though my work helps others develop confidence, feel wanted and learn to express themselves in an environment free of shame or judgment."
The Enchanting Becki LeBeau
At 22 years old, it is safe to say that this is just the beginning for Becki LeBeau, a goofy biology major who enjoys hoop dancing and soap making. As a Caucasian female, she identifies her sexual orientation as "queer; primarily heteroromantic." She is engaged in an open relationship and she also has a boyfriend in the military.
Becki has been working as an escort for a little over 2 years. If you saw her on the street you would never know she lives a fulfilling double life as a courtesan, which is just how she likes it. She truly enjoys her job and believes that she is doing something inspiring as well as rewarding. She blames it on the fact that she used to steal romance novels from her grandmother; in middle school she found a couple books on call girls and the Mayflower Madam. She thinks reading those shaped her perception on this line of work, which ultimately prepared her for it. She provides what is known as a "girlfriend experience." Here is a definition break down from good 'ole Wikipedia for those of you who are sheltered from the sex industry and its terms.
Escort / Call Girl
~ A hired social partner: a man or woman who is hired to accompany another person as a companion, especially to a social event or entertainment. A call girl or female escort is a sex worker who (unlike a street walker) is not visible to the general public, nor does she usually work in an institution like a brothel, although she may be employed by an escort agency. The client must make an appointment, usually by calling a telephone number. Call girls often advertise their services in small ads in magazines and via the internet, although an intermediary advertiser, such as an escort agency, may be involved in promoting escorts, while less often, some may be handled by a pimp. Call girls may work either incall, where the client comes to them, or outcall, where they go to the client.
~ The girlfriend experience (commonly known as GFE) is a type of service a female sex worker offers which includes acting like a girlfriend to the client. GFE includes french kissing, hugging, talking, and eating a meal together. If the prostitute is male, the service is called boyfriend experience.
The "girlfriend experience" generally involves more personal interaction than a traditional call girl or escort offers; it varies widely from person to person, however. There is a focus on not just having sex, but also having more of a comprehensive experience. Often sessions last longer and are "no rush," which means the call girl spends the full advertised time rather than rushing out after the sex is over. Common activities usually offered by GFE escorts include kissing and/or french kissing, cuddling and foreplay.
An escort advertising the provision of a "girlfriend experience" is implying that she provides deep french kissing (DFK), "full service" (intercourse) usually with protection, and fellatio and cunnilingus, both with or without protection. Advertising a "girlfriend experience" is sometimes used by call girls to promote business.
Now to answer any lingering questions. Yes, she is the kind of escort that provides a full service. Unlike the well-known "lady of the night," when Becki provides a service, it is typically in an upscale hotel, top notch restaurants with all the bells and whistles. In fact, she even has a quite informative web site that I was able to check out. No, I am not going to tell you the website address. I am writing an article, not advertising! The website is very well put together and has detailed pricing, flavor of the month discounts, and even a military discount! Now, I must say, that is pretty bad ass. I personally think vets should get a discount everywhere, whether they are paying their electric bill, or having someone ride them like a pony. It's just the way it should be, am I right?
During the interview, Becki pointed out that her favorite part of being an escort is being able to fulfill a good portion of her own sexual desires, while assisting others with exploring new interests, fetishes and ways of being. She truly feels that her work helps others to develop confidence, learn to express themselves in an environment free of shame or judgment and also feel wanted. There are so many men that she has helped. Men who are inexperienced, not only sexually but with regards to intimacy and emotions as well. Over the course of many dates, she helped them to develop the confidence in themselves to the point where they finally felt capable of pursuing a "real" relationship after they have completed their time together. Now, I must say, that is pretty awesome, being able to help someone by practically training them on how to treat a woman and how to be in a relationship. I can see why a man would rather pay for a girlfriend rather than just a onetime bang with a prostitute. What better way to build your confidence than with a woman who will go out in public with you, slob on your knob, call you by your real name (not John) and still call you back the next day, even if you are paying her a minimum $400 (1 hour) for the experience. Hmmm, now that I am really thinking about it, can we get Channing Tatum on the line? I would like to get some of that boyfriend experience, or maybe a lil' bit of Jessica Alba! Ugh, I wish, but that wouldn't be possible for my broke ass, not without the black market sale of a limb or vital organ.
Life in the sex industry is not always filled with rainbows and glitter. Like many other sex workers, Becki is unable to talk to her friends and family about what she really does when she is "working." Having to lie and constantly make cover stories can really sabotage your ability to have relationships with folks outside of the sex industry community. Though at the same time, she can't imagine quitting. Not only does it make her feel refreshed, desired and exuberant, but she has simply fallen in love with the work she does and hopes to continue for as long as possible. I also want to point out that not once in the entire interview did I see the word "Client." She always referred to them as "Fellows" or "Gentlemen." That sure shows that she respects them.
I'm not going to go into the whole but she is only 22 so she has no idea how she will feel in 5 years...blah blah blah, though it is funny to think what might come after working as a hired girlfriend. I can just see it now. Miss Becki LeBeau has graduated on to Mrs. Becki LeBeau, escort offering the "Wife Experience" allowing men to learn the ins and outs of marriage and guiding them through their first divorce, just to better prepare them for the future wives that will suck them dry! Ha-ha!
Becki Speaks Out
Becki has a thing or two to say to the people who think her work is shameful or immoral. This is what she said: "If you had any idea the amount of marriages I’ve saved simply by doing what I do, you may think twice about criticizing – there have been so many men in marriages where they love their wife and/or kids, yet the physical relationship had long since died; outsourcing their needs for companionship and intimacy to me allows them to more fully engage with their wife without pressuring them for aspects that are no longer present.". That is actually a great point. Some of these men have their lives strongly put together. They have the wives that they truly love and can't live without. They have children, jobs, hobbies...everything. But one of their basic needs is simply unmet. They have no sex life, or maybe sex is just not a possibility. Who knows the reasoning behind it. Being with Becki, with or without their wives knowledge, keeps them satisfied and able to commit themselves to the person they belong with. And referring back to the beginning of the article, to the men who just need the experience or confidence, what better way to get it and feel comfortable?
I asked Becki to tell me a funny story from her working girl diary. She couldn't do it. The only memorable stories she could come up with were heartfelt and touching. Men who treat her like gold and comfort her when she is sick or has had a stressful day. Honestly it seemed to me like she was in a relationship with multiple loving men. They cater to her, they really want her to be happy. And she wants the same for them. She even mentioned about a time when she had a really stressful organic chemistry exam coming up and she was continuously cancelling and rescheduling appointments in order to gain more study time. Her "fellows" were very supportive and understanding about the whole ordeal. But one thing that amazed her, that she totally didn't expect, was that on the day of the exam starting at about 8am, she had a steady stream of E-mails and text messages coming in reassuring her that she would do just fine on the exam and asking her to let them know when she was done. They were just being there for her. It was on that day that she truly realized that the bonds they share go much deeper than the simple transactions that define this line of work.
She does recall a bad experience though: "One of my worst appointments to date was with a big ex-football player who was intensely boring during dinner, manhandled me more than I’m comfortable with and had the music in his hotel room up loud enough that my safe-call - a friend who rings my phone to alert me that time is up and make sure I’m safe - wasn’t able to get in touch with me. We wound up going 30 minutes over our scheduled time due to the surroundings being too loud, but the clincher was when I was trying to get dressed and he kept getting between me and the door to pull me toward the bed and tell me “Oh, you should just stay with me all night." By the time I managed to get dressed and get away from him we’d gone almost a full hour over. My safe call was terrified for me and I was shaking so hard I had to sit in the parking lot to calm down enough to drive home. Needless to say, I did not see him again in the future. Now that is very scary, especially when we hear about so many terrible things happening to people in our line of work, or to anyone for that matter.
In a matter of statistics, one study of violence against women engaged in street prostitution found that 82% reported being physically assaulted during prostitution, and 68% reported having been raped. Realistically, fewer than 50% of sexual assaults are reported overall. If we just focused on sex workers, it would be less than 30%. In fact, I found a headline from back in 2008 which pretty much sums up the reasons why sex workers more often than not refuse to report crimes against themselves. A law student at the University of Michigan who was doing sex work to put herself through school was hired by a professor there. She agreed to let him spank her, but then without her consent, he whacked her in the head twice, hard enough to give her temporary vision problems. Not only did the police decline to go forward with charges, but they actually charged the victim with a misdemeanor for the sex work! Now that is just fucked up! That is exactly why it's time for sex workers to speak out. It is time to get the point across. Sex work IS work and sex workers ARE people!
I would like to thank Becki for another bold insight into the sex industry. It is always refreshing to read a new perspective. Thank you for taking your time to speak out.
Look for more articles for the Sex Workers Speak Out series coming soon from sex workers in all sectors. Ranging from Cam Girls, to Escorts, and more!