"Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain -- your life will never be the same."
Many considerations, One Opinion
Although I believe that the father has a right to have a say in whether or not the baby is born (all arguments about where life starts aside), at the end of the day it is the woman’s body which manages the conception. In a frank and biting sort of way, a father plays a minimal part in the process of creating a child save his injection of genetic material and his emotional investment. To me the emotional investment, if indeed he has one, should be considered. However at the end of the day, whatever the woman’s reasons are, he does not have to carry the child to term.
Imagine the woman spends 9 months (40 weeks) in the various stages of pregnancy. Morning sickness, swelling, constant health concerns which revolve around the baby as well as her own safety, and the ever present dangers of childbirth and worries about being able to provide and nurture a little life for the next 18 to 27 years. I am in no way saying that the father does not share these worries, but the actual physical involvement that the mother has is beyond reckoning for the father. On those particular grounds, I would argue that a father’s right extends insofar as the conversation he has with his partner, but ultimately and always, the woman should be able to make the decision. Even if it is a same-sex couple, the decision should be with the woman carrying the child and so it should always be. This is not an argument of superiority so much of practicality. Yes, both father and mother are invested, but who must bear the actual load?
On another note, I would be remiss if I did not mention the problems associated with victims of rape from acquaintances, partners, strangers, etc. What kind of line are we towing if we say those “fathers” should have a say in the birth of a child conceived in such a manner? We certainly saw the dangers of that kind of thinking in politics in 2012. Hopefully a new year means transitions to a safer mentality.
Finally, on a medical note, if the life of the mother is in danger, what then? This is always a difficult thing to consider, but this might be a case in which the father would have the right to choose between the life of the mother and the life of the child. Hopefully the couple would have discussed the possibility of such a thing ever occurring, but it is certainly a situation where the rights of the father could be clearly undisputed. This may not be a popular answer for those who consider that the parents of the mother should be the ones to make a decision, but that is another discussion entirely.
Imagine the woman spends 9 months (40 weeks) in the various stages of pregnancy. Morning sickness, swelling, constant health concerns which revolve around the baby as well as her own safety, and the ever present dangers of childbirth and worries about being able to provide and nurture a little life for the next 18 to 27 years. I am in no way saying that the father does not share these worries, but the actual physical involvement that the mother has is beyond reckoning for the father. On those particular grounds, I would argue that a father’s right extends insofar as the conversation he has with his partner, but ultimately and always, the woman should be able to make the decision. Even if it is a same-sex couple, the decision should be with the woman carrying the child and so it should always be. This is not an argument of superiority so much of practicality. Yes, both father and mother are invested, but who must bear the actual load?
On another note, I would be remiss if I did not mention the problems associated with victims of rape from acquaintances, partners, strangers, etc. What kind of line are we towing if we say those “fathers” should have a say in the birth of a child conceived in such a manner? We certainly saw the dangers of that kind of thinking in politics in 2012. Hopefully a new year means transitions to a safer mentality.
Finally, on a medical note, if the life of the mother is in danger, what then? This is always a difficult thing to consider, but this might be a case in which the father would have the right to choose between the life of the mother and the life of the child. Hopefully the couple would have discussed the possibility of such a thing ever occurring, but it is certainly a situation where the rights of the father could be clearly undisputed. This may not be a popular answer for those who consider that the parents of the mother should be the ones to make a decision, but that is another discussion entirely.
As a woman who so many years ago made the decision against pro-life I have to agree that the many months/weeks that a woman carries a child must be paramount to the decision, her final decision to carry or abort. I was young, lived a carefree life and even with birth control had conceived. I could not bear to carry a child to full term even to give it up to adoption, to let go a life I had created. Another complication that had arose was that I had a medical condition, Epilepsy which I could not even accept at the time. To possibly bring a child into being with what I suffered then and am hopefully outgrowing now was unimaginable at the time. The father thankfully, at the time did not put up a fuss and left the decision to me since he was not ready to be responsible for that life or a full time relationship. One other thing I want to add, this was not a high school "accidental" pregnancy but one in which I was in my mid twenties. I was fully aware of what the consequences would be should it ever happen and while I always believed to that point that life, all life was sacred. The thought of further suffering, possibly worse then what I did with my medical condition was my deciding factor in the end, one that I am glad of today.
This is one of those topics that is bound to bring controversy however all of your points are valid and in many way's mirror my own personal thought. Their are so many different factors that must be taken into consideration. As you touched on, a father in one situation may not compare to the father of another. So should they have the same rights? Should a young teenage father who wants to do the right thing and raise his child is be treated equally with a rapist who had no interest in the well being of the mother (and more then a likely any thought of future child) at the point of conception.
Hummingbird, thank you for sharing your experience and comments. It is certainly true that there is a lot to think of and every individual experience is different.
KissTheSkyBaby, I had not even considered the teenage father who wants to do the right thing. Taking that one step further, even if he wants to do the right thing, does he have the means and support to do so? Further food for thought. What about children who are brought into the world with the best of intentions, but the family knows they cannot provide?