"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
So back when I did webcam shows, someone once said to me, "Don't you just wish one of us was there fucking you?"
And because I like to engage in honest conversation, and this may have contributed to why I wasn't the best web cam model of the year, my response was, "No. I actually prefer masturbation to partner sex."
Now, my core watchers and I, we had quite a few conversations about the war on women, the gender spectrum, classic literature, the war on porn, sex work, and general sex positivity. But the idea of preferring masturbation to partner sex really struck a chord with some of them. So today, I'd like to explain my preference for my right hand...and sometimes left, often with a toy or two.
When I masturbate, I don't have any inhibitions. I don't have to worry about what I look like, sound like, that I might make a mess, or how some position makes my tummy bulge. Not worrying about appearances makes me more comfortable, and I don't mentally detach from masturbation thinking about my appearance. Ironically, when performing in web cam shows, where people were watching me far closer than my sexual partners tend to, I had fewer inhibitions because I couldn't see them.
When I masturbate, it's all about me. At that moment, I'm simply not concerned with anyone else's pleasure. I'm only catering to myself, whom I know best, and any goals I set are for myself. Whether I want to try having a dozen orgasms, or not orgasm for more than an hour while teasing myself, I'm having fun regardless. If there's anything I do or don't like, I don't need to communicate with a partner, I can better or continue my own actions instantly. I also tend to learn more about my preferences and my own body from masturbation.
Afterwards I can do whatever I need or want to do without worrying about another person. I also don't have to worry about any STI transmission or unwanted pregnancy.
Whenever I point out that I prefer masturbation, there tends to be at least one person saying, "You just haven't had great sex yet!" This is simply not true. I've had some amazing sexual experiences with people, some of which included intense emotional attachments. I do enjoy partner sex, and its complicated dynamics surrounding communication, boundaries, and another person's body. But I still prefer masturbation.
What about you? What's your favorite sexual act, and is it with a partner?
And because I like to engage in honest conversation, and this may have contributed to why I wasn't the best web cam model of the year, my response was, "No. I actually prefer masturbation to partner sex."
Now, my core watchers and I, we had quite a few conversations about the war on women, the gender spectrum, classic literature, the war on porn, sex work, and general sex positivity. But the idea of preferring masturbation to partner sex really struck a chord with some of them. So today, I'd like to explain my preference for my right hand...and sometimes left, often with a toy or two.
When I masturbate, I don't have any inhibitions. I don't have to worry about what I look like, sound like, that I might make a mess, or how some position makes my tummy bulge. Not worrying about appearances makes me more comfortable, and I don't mentally detach from masturbation thinking about my appearance. Ironically, when performing in web cam shows, where people were watching me far closer than my sexual partners tend to, I had fewer inhibitions because I couldn't see them.
When I masturbate, it's all about me. At that moment, I'm simply not concerned with anyone else's pleasure. I'm only catering to myself, whom I know best, and any goals I set are for myself. Whether I want to try having a dozen orgasms, or not orgasm for more than an hour while teasing myself, I'm having fun regardless. If there's anything I do or don't like, I don't need to communicate with a partner, I can better or continue my own actions instantly. I also tend to learn more about my preferences and my own body from masturbation.
Afterwards I can do whatever I need or want to do without worrying about another person. I also don't have to worry about any STI transmission or unwanted pregnancy.
Whenever I point out that I prefer masturbation, there tends to be at least one person saying, "You just haven't had great sex yet!" This is simply not true. I've had some amazing sexual experiences with people, some of which included intense emotional attachments. I do enjoy partner sex, and its complicated dynamics surrounding communication, boundaries, and another person's body. But I still prefer masturbation.
What about you? What's your favorite sexual act, and is it with a partner?
I completely agree with what you are saying here, when alone with yourself you don't have to ask yourself the questions that come to mind when I engage in sex with a partner such as : is she enjoying this.l, am I hurting her or being too rough... ect. But when engaging in masturbation I feel completely comfortable, knowing what I enjoy and not having to please someone else before myself. I have been married and know that great sentual sex is amazing, but I have to say that sometimes I want no pressures and I think that I actually enjoy masturbation to sex most of the time. Great article!
great article
I love this Article. Great
I was like that for most of my life but then I met the love of my life and she changed everything. With her, I have no inhibitions so it's like masturbation lol. Great read.
I am kind of the same way- at least at times. There are times where I just want to hurry up and come, instead of having an experience with someone else. When you find a partner that is a good fit for you, you guys can just have a quickie where you both get off and it is kind of the same feeling as masterbating.