Disclaimer: First off, I do not intend to offend anyone with my personal opinions, feelings, use of language or terms within this article. Because we live in such politically correct times, I never know what, if anything, is going to be considered offensive by any given audience. My goal is just to clear up some sexual misinformation from my own point of view.
Most of my adult life, I have enjoyed the pursuit of pleasure and sex in most of its forms and, from time to time, have enjoyed some anal play (usually alone). Since joining Eden this past summer and trying out some new toys, I have re-discovered the joys of prostate stimulation. I kinda ignored it for a long time and had a finicky bottom, but lately I have found a new appreciation for anal toys. The orgasms they help induce are just amazing, and I know I have still not maxed out the pleasure potential based on what I have read about other men having hands-free orgasms and the elusive, so-called Super "O." The Super "O" is a hands free, non-ejaculatory, body-convulsing frenzy that can last minutes to hours by some accounts. Some of us wonder if it is just a myth, but many lucky fellas have sworn by it. These experiences are from men spanning the entire sexual spectrum. I have not had this experience myself unfortunately.
For now, I am quite happy with my combined prostate/penis orgasms as they are, but am always looking for better toys or methods of stimulation to reach the ultimate climax. One of my missions on EF is to find the best toys I can and to maximize my orgasmic pleasure. So far, I've found some real winners and a few losers.
In my early days of exploring my sexuality, I kinda just fumbled around with cheap toys anally, because it was taboo or because I read it was supposed to feel good. I don't remember really trying to target my prostate or remember seeing so many prostate specific toys back then. I probably never even made the association between prostate and pleasure. My experiences ranged from painful & mood killing to pleasurable and ecstatic, at different times. There were a lot of variables I won't go into for the purposes of this article. I only very rarely shared these desires or participated in them with partners, 'til a year ago when I met my future wife and we started shopping for toys together. It was that search that brought us to Eden Fantasys. Ironically enough, she is pretty vanilla and the last person I thought I would ever be using anal toys with.
Myths and Misconceptions: 50 shades of gay
In some of my own personal experiences, I've heard ignorant statements first hand from other women to the effect that "If a man wants anal sex with a woman, he must be secretly homosexual." Really? Total rubbish. Not even in the same ball park. For that matter, does a woman who likes receiving anal sex imply she is gay? No. Why would it be any different for a man? Though I have only had anal sex with women a handful or so times, I enjoy it, but I have no desire to do it to a man. No different than enjoying kissing, but I only kiss women I really like.
Though I live as a heterosexual man, I do fantasize about being penetrated by a man or woman wearing a strap on dildo, among other things. It's a fun fantasy to play out in my head, but my ass doesn't really like thrusting or big girth that much, so I fear the reality probably won't live up to the fantasy. I prefer a toy that kinda stays in place and vibrates or gently massages my prostate, while having sex with a woman (or a Fleshlight when I am alone) or just masturbating. When I fuck my girlfriend and I have some massager moving itself in and out of my ass, I fantasize that I am being penetrated or fingered from behind by another person, as I thrust blissfully towards orgasm. One of the most mind blowing memorable experiences I ever had was getting a massage from a female and then having her simultaneously jack me off while fingering my hole. Incredible! Am I gay now? No. Never will be.
Enjoying anal pleasure doesn't somehow make you attracted to the same sex (or opposite sex for homosexuals) in some mysterious way. I am not homosexual myself, so I don't claim to speak for the entire population as fact, but liking anal sex/play isn't even compulsory to being gay. As an example, I have a friend who is gay (he doesn't really label himself, but he doesn't date women either) who wants nothing to do with anal sex. Period! He is a very sexual guy, but wants nothing to do with giving or receiving anal attention from either sex.
I am happy to report that on a few polls I have seen on EF community forums, that most members agree that liking anal play has nothing to do with sexual orientation, but in the broader world, opinions are all over the map and, in some cases, entirely ignorant. People here at Eden Fantasys tend to be more sexually educated and open minded, for the most part, than the average person though. There are some people who seem quite closed-minded and judgmental too, surprisingly, but they are the minority. I am pleased to see so many couples into pegging and prostate play on EF. Something I thought was even less common than it seems to be here.
I could probably write an entire article just on the social stigma and fears that men have in admitting or expressing their private desires in public, to friends or even the most intimate of loved ones. I have become more open in talking about my own sexuality as I've gotten older and more experienced, but I too have been, and still am, guilty of keeping some experiences and desires a secret for fear of judgement, rejection or something as outlandish as blackmail. I'm not really that scandalous even, but you never know, right? I am lucky to have a partner who is understanding herself and open to new things, but I still harbor a few things I don't wish to tell just anyone or admit openly.
In the past, I've heard all kinds of reactions to my own experiences or fantasies. They are wide ranging from turn-on and curiosity to disgust and everything in between. People can be very ingrained in their opinions, despite never having any first hand experience. They seemingly absorb these hardened opinions from those around them or misconceptions they heard in hearsay. One of my favorite come backs to people who draw fast conclusions is to ask them "If you (or any other man) could suck your own cock, you would, wouldn't you?" "Why yes" they say. "Does that make you gay, just because you sucked a cock?" "Well,...ummmm no, I guess not."
Ecstasy isn't the only benefit to anal play either. Side benefits to using prostate toys include: becoming aware of your prostate gland and PC muscles, which can help improve erection control, stamina, ejaculatory control and hardness. It also can improve your PC muscle tone, to improve bowel or urinary control and help keep a healthy prostate. In fact, many of these "toys" were derived from devices used initially to exercise and stimulate the prostate in men who had various prostate related problems, and re-branded as pleasure toys.
So, yes people, you can enjoy having your ass pleasured, no matter what you identify as sexually (that goes for males or females). It doesn't matter; it is gender & orientation neutral. You can be straight and like anal play or gay and not like it, or any other combo, for that matter. It's not for everyone, no doubt, but it can be immensely pleasurable for many of us who choose to try and explore our sexual bounds. So next time you hear someone tell you or someone around you that playing with/penetrating your anus makes you gay/bi/other, be sure to set them straight (no pun intended) and let them know that enjoying your own body, in whatever way, has no bearing on your sexual preference. For those who have never had their prostate tickled, give it a try. You might be surprised how pleasurable it can be, and rest comfortable knowing that it has no bearing on your sexual identity and orientation, if that is something that was holding you back. Plus you get the bonus of a healthier prostate and improved erections. Who doesn't want that? I put a list of some recommended toys below that I have tried or are highly recommended on EF. Happy shopping!