The Internet has forever changed the way we have sex. A recent study by Shape and Men's Fitness showed that Facebook alone, has a hand. 58% of men say the site has led to faster sex, while 80% of women echo this sentiment. While online dating becomes okay with single moms in the suburbs, the world of online, casual sex is seen as drastic, continuing some 90's parental fear of “you could be anyone on the world wide web!”
In this 3-part series, I'll be talking with people from different spheres of casual hook-ups: Craiglist Casual Encounters, Newspaper XXX-listings and fetish sites to explore what happens in a casual hook-up with someone you just met online.
Meet Adam—Craigslist Casual Encounters Expert
“Adam Blanton” is an artist and writer. He has become something of a Craigslist Casual Encounters expert. What started as a mild curiosity opened a new world. Adam has fooled around for cash, slept a with a Sarah Palin look-alike and learned how to get women to respond to your ads. Here, he shares a few stories and gives us his tips.
How did you get started with Casual Encounters?
My original ads were very vanilla, like “I like these bands”. And then I became interested in the whole culture. I started reading mens’ ads and seeing fetish stuff. I realized the majority of the ads were really about getting laid.
What are your ads like now?
It's almost amateur psychology. I've found women like to answer questions, especially if they are about men, like, does this coat look bad? Or, do I dress well? I will post a picture and ask “should I shave?”
I will get responses saying “Don’t shave, I think it’s sexy.” I'll say “Awesome. Thank you for the compliment. It really made my day. I am sure you are cute too.”
Then they'll send a photo. It will deteriorate into a hook up. 90% of my ads have been like this.
One girl said “I think you are really cute in your picture. But I see you on here and I know you are a total Craigslist creeper.”
It's true I am.
So what is up with all of the dick-pics on Craigslist?
I met this girl on Craigslist. She was a lawyer, ex-model. Her husband was a flight attendant and out of town. We had been chatting and she invited me to come over and give her a massage. I found out she was married when I got there, we just ended up making sangria and talking. She told me about a lot of other guys she's met.
This one guy kept sending her photos of his dick and would never send photos of his face. When she finally did get a picture, he was like this Jim-Belushi-Chicago-unattractive-guy. But he had this really beautiful penis. Maybe there are just a lot of unattractive guys with big dicks and Craigslist is a good way for them to get laid. Like they can't go to a bar and show their dick. Maybe they really are putting their best foot forward—and their best foot is their dick.
What has been your most exciting experience from Craigslist?
I had been posting ads, looking for women when a gay man messaged me saying, “I want you to come over and masturbate for me and I will pay you $200.” For months, every time I would post an ad, he kept after me. I had a conversation with one of my completely straight friends and he convinced me I was going to jack off anyway, I might as well do it for money. So I decided to do it, mostly for the story. I did extra sit ups, made sure everything looked good.
When he opened the door, he was like this handsome yuppie in a Cubs hat. He had a six-foot tall, blonde, athletic body. I got into some Kabuki theater thing, it was a performance. I took of my shirt but not all the way, I slid my shorts down a little bit. He touched my stomach, my chest, and was nervous, shaking. He asked if I would come on him. When I did, it hit him in the Cubs hat.
Do male responses to M for F ads happen a lot?
I've had a few, fake email addresses with women's names, amateur-porn pictures. One guy was realistic. He had a whole narrative like “I want you to come over to my house and open my door and I’ll be in bed.” He reeled me along for like two hours Then he said he was a guy and asked if I still wanted to. It probably works sometimes.
What do you think about the danger-factor that is associated with Craigslist?
I do think it is different for women. One woman, I came to her door, having never met her before. She was short, curvy and wearing a teddy. I pressed her against the wall and we started making out. She put in her ad that she wanted a guy to go down on her. I didn't go down right away, and she accused me of being nervous and not into it. She kicked me out. It kind of hurt my feelings, but women do have to be more careful.
There is also the issue of getting jumped and robbed when you show up. There was this girl, really pretty, who said she was in the city for winter break, she went to Columbia, and wanted to have a little fun. When we talked on the phone, she asked that I “bring like $200-$300 so we could have fun” and made me talk to this guy, her “cousin”, who kept telling me how much she wanted to meet me. Yeah, I didn't go.
Who else have you met?
My first time was a middle-aged woman with two kids. She had an accent, very Mexican. I did all of these goofy things like getting ice cubes from the freezer and giving her massages. I met a lawyer who left her practice in Canada to become a doctor in Chicago, weird. She was living with two men. She looked like Sarah Palin but with double E's.
Any tips for placing an ad?
Different days of the week work better for ads. Thursday night is a wonderful night to post an ad. People are looking towards the weekend. No one is thinking about sex on Tuesday.
Also, I’ve posted an ad as a woman with a fake picture just to see what kind of response they get. At the most I would get 12 responses. Women are flooded. If you are even halfway attractive and you put an ad up you are going to get 150-200 emails from guys.
Why use Casual Encounters?
There is always this feeling I have when I am coming to a new place, it's walking into this apartment building with the carpeted floor, the elevator. You know you are there because somebody wants to fuck you. If I put an ad up, it's like a roller coaster that has to finish itself.
In Part 2, we'll talk with a woman who discovered the newspaper classifieds could help her explore her fantasies and satiate her demanding libido.