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Don't Call Her Honey. Don't Call Him Sweetie Cakes.

Don't Call Her Honey. Don't Call Him Sweetie Cakes.
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Authors say pet names can take the heat out of a relationship.

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Comments

Ansley  

Hahaha, no. Terms of endearment are just that. Calling someone by name is too formal.

04/02/2011
Diegov  

Do you really think so? I don't know.... I guess you probably agree with Jeff that 'intent' is more important than the simple act of using nicknames. But....

... you probably also agree with Ansley that calling your lover by name is, well, too formal, isn't it? I mean, you'd probably feel more comfortable calling your partner by a nickname, or at the very least an abbreviation of his name, don't you?

But don't you think that part of the problem with keeping relationships 'hot' is too much comfort? Why, oh why, does life have to give us such paradoxes?

I am afraid to tell you, but it's true: Comfort and lust are at odds with each other. Mystery is sexy. The unknown is 'hot'. Wouldn't you then agree that calling your lover a term of endearment, whilst doing wonders for your emotional life, can take the heat out of your relationship?

I have never tried this, but here is an idea: how about having TWO nicknames for your loved one, used with the 80/20 rule? The first one, (used 80% of the time) is meant to show your partner how much *you* LOVE *him*. The second one (used only 20% of the time) expresses hos much *you* DESIRE *him*. Be careful though: If you use the second one _only_ when you want a bit of bedroom gymnastics, he will see it as simply one more tool of 'seduction', rather than a tool of expression (which is what it is meant to be). Just mix them up, and use them when most apropriate, without expectation that ''name dropping' will get you some hot sex.

WHat do you think? Would this be worth a try? Give it a go - I reckon it can't hurt!

04/02/2011

I'm all for healthy relationships operating on mutual respect, which is why "babe" or "hubby" are not the best choices for terms of endearment.

My man calls me "darling" and "My Love." I call him "Zeus" and "My King." Works for us, we have mad respect and passion for each other!

04/04/2011
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