I have to admit I have a bit of an ulterior motive for this. When my wife feels taken care of and relaxed she is much more likely to feel amorous. So while I do my best to treat her well, and make sure she feels appreciated, this becomes a happy added perk.

One thing that I’ve noticed is that most women are planners, seemingly by nature, and majorly so. Most men tend to fly by the seat of our pants, and that’s how I was before I met my wife.

Women plan in such a way that is something incredible to behold. Sadly, as talented as my wife is at planning things, and keeping our household in order, it drains her and stresses her out. So I’ve found that taking over the planning duties at times can be such a relief for her, and a way to make her feel pampered and relaxed.

A perfect example of this is how I’ve planned my wife’s upcoming birthday weekend. I’m going to be out of town on business on her actual birthday, so I’ve gone about setting things up so she has a luxurious and relaxing weekend once I get back. The key to this is taking care of the little details that, as men, we don’t always think about, but for women they can be the little grains of sand within the pearl that aggravate them to no end.

You’ve heard the phrase “the devil’s in the details,” right? If I were a betting man, I would guess a woman coined that phrase.

First on my wife’s weekend away from having to plan, I’ve booked a hotel in the city where we live. It can be hard to relax when you’re staring at things in your house that lead you to think about uncompleted to-do lists. So I found a hotel and made sure it has everything needed for relaxation.

Next thing I had to do was sort out the toddler. A night away from the toddler is always good because it helps us reconnect as a couple, and not as a parental unit. We love our little guy dearly, but for my wife to really relax, and feel like a woman again, she needs some time away from him.

Luckily, we have my parents who are always very happy to have him spend the night. Okay, second step completed, the toddler is in good hands. The only thing we’ll worry about while he’s with them is how much stuff they will be buying him.

A nice dinner out at one of the “hot spots” in our city with drinks on a rooftop bar afterward should help her remember that she is someone beyond just “Mommy.” So, the next task is finding a restaurant at which to celebrate her birthday.

In the past year, my wife has been diagnosed with a pretty substantial food allergy, so dining out can be a trial. Beyond finding something on the menu that she can safely eat, my wife hates having to bring attention to herself and her condition.

There is a place where she is comfortable though, so I’ve booked a table. I’ve even spoken with the manager about her allergy, and he’s happy to do whatever he can to help. Hopefully since I’ve planned ahead she can just go and eat and not have to worry about anything at all. This way she can really enjoy dining out and fully relax.

Once we return to the hotel I’ll offer to give her a massage, which she usually jumps at. When your lover is the masseuse, there is definitely something very sensual and sexy with a massage. You are running your hands along their usually naked body, kneading and working on their muscles and making them feel good. There are often moans or sighs of contentment as well. It’s almost like you are making love to your partner, but in a different way.

And because this is such a sensual act for us it will in all likelihood lead to an evening of wonderful sex between the two of us. And making sure that I’ve thought of all the details, in my suitcase will be packed all of her favorite toys, lube and lingerie that she might have the desire for during the evening.

By planning out the evening, and making sure that all the details are handled, I’m (hopefully) ensuring that my wife will be relaxed and truly enjoying her time away. When we leave the hotel, at the end of the weekend, we will both be feeling refreshed and relaxed, hopefully. We will have reconnected in a way that is essential to all relationships. And all with just a little – Okay, a lot! – of planning and forethought on my part.