If you’re reading SexFeed, chances are that you have a notion of the good works that advances in sex toys can do, but you may not, until now, have included altruism or the togetherness of military couples on that list.

Scott Rinaldo has. He’s the company manager for RealTouch, and he wants to bring the magic of his company’s special teledildonics to those serving the the U.S. military in Afghanistan. “A thousand dildos for the military wives,” to be exact, reports Sascha Segan at PCMag.com. Rinaldo made the statement at the
Consumer Electronics Show 2012 in Las Vegas.

Teledildonics is basically remote control sex. RealTouch involves a masturbatory sleeve that mimics movement (vaginal, oral, what-have-you) on one end, has an “automated lubrication system” and warms itself up (so says the video). On the other end a “sensor-covered rod,” is run by the other party. The sleeve is plugged into a tower which plugs into your computer; download the software and your computer synchs with porn films so it feels like you’re, um, there. Only in this case the “other party” would be the husband or wife.

Rinaldo’s idea is certainly a sweet one, and though we’re not sure how it would work out, logistically we’re eager to hear whatever experiments with this form of family togetherness yield.

In the meantime we were charmed by Segan’s hilariously squeamish account of ‘testing’ the RealTouch device. “As an intrepid reporter, I stuck my finger into a RealTouch unit while performer Kirsten Price hand-rubbed a nearby, Internet-connected dildo. The sensation was very strange,” he says, like the latex-like material was “polishing my finger.”

“Afterwards my finger smelled like lube.”

Aw, quitcher braggin’. We weren’t invited or our fingers would smell like lube, too.