"The hand is the visible part of the brain."

— Immanuel Kant

Obviously, our hands are the main way we use our sense of touch. We use our hands to feel whether or not our car seat is hot before we sit on the scorching leather. We use our hands to test the bath water to see if it’s too warm or cool before we slip into the coolness to wash away the sweat of summer. We use our hands to feel our lover’s heart beat within his or her body when we’re making love. All these things are about ourselves. It’s important that we remember to use our hands to make our lovers feel loved.

There are many things we can do with our hands for our lovers this summer. I’ve got a few suggestions up my sleeve and I hope you can put a few to work for you. I could even see taking a Saturday and putting them all into practice for a sexy date-day. Enjoy!

Run your love a bath. Take a minute to take into account what kind of day they’ve had. If it’s been a long, hot day, they might appreciate a cooler bath temp. If it’s been a long day full of hard work and running around, a hot bubble bath may be just what the doctor ordered. Maybe light a few candles around the bathroom for ambiance and turn on some soft music. Pour a glass of her favorite wine. Fluff some towels in the dryer as he is bathing and greet him with a warm towel to wrap up in as he’s ready to get out of the tub.

Write a letter. Hand-writing love letters has gone a bit to the wayside lately, with all the texting/emailing capabilities that everyone and his grandmother has now. Take time to write a letter to your love, longer than two sentences or 140 characters. Point out something you love about them out of the bedroom first. Make them realize there’s more to the relationship than a piece of tail. Then proceed, if you wish, to point out something in the bedroom to stir up thoughts that will have them waiting not so patiently for the next time you’re home together.

Bake his favorite cookies, even if they’re his mom’s recipe. I’ve geared the first couple options, unintentionally, toward things the guy can do for the girl. Girls, you can do things for your guy, too. You may not be best buddies with his mom, but if you take the initiative to call her, get her recipe (provided she’s willing to share it!) and then bake his favorite cookies, that’s going to be major brownie points with him! It also shows you’re willing to put aside your differences with your potential or current Mother-in-Law aside long enough to find mutual common ground: you both adore her son!

Hand over the remote. Sometimes, it’s just been a rough day and your partner needs to be in control of ONE thing. Maybe the television is that one thing – so hand over the remote! Whether the guy needs to watch some face-bashing hockey or the girl needs some tearjerker Hallmark movie, everyone deserves to get the choice every once in a while. And girls, get into the sport from time to time! Guys, pass the Kleenex and get out a bowl of Rocky Road if need be. The importance here: compromise and be there.

Finally, massage. Massage is more than “rub, rub, pat, pat, done.” Put a little more effort into it than that. Grab some scented oil, maybe even your favorite bath oil from the bathroom cabinet if you don’t have a chance to run to the store, warm a little between your hands, and rub up, down, around, in, and out over your partner’s body. Take your time. There’s a reason it takes a massage therapist an hour or more to give a full-body massage. It could take longer if you’re going for a “happy ending.” If you are, make sure whatever you’re using is compatible down there and with any barrier method you may be planning on using.

For the back, start at the base of the spine with your hands close together and pointing towards the head. Glide forward and out the shoulders in a sort of T-shape with a steady motion and gentle pressure. Repeat this motion, moving hands apart and toward the hips each time. For legs and arms, gentle “grab and pull” motions, as well as smooth and straight motions are recommended. The front of the body is similar to the back, but take into account for breasts and your partner’s tastes in pressure or fondling; same for the buttocks.

Take some time this summer to have “unselfish hands.” I promise, you can thank me later.