Saying “I love you” to someone is not something that should be taken lightly. I’ve only said this to two women that I’ve been with in my life. One was a college girlfriend and the other my current wife.

Each time I realized that I loved the person days before I actually said the words. Words are big with me. What you say and how you say it make a big difference with things, so when I told someone that I loved them I wanted to be one-hundred percent sure I was before I actually said it. Both times when I actually said the words they weren’t immediately reciprocated. The other person did say them eventually. I did marry one of them, but at first it was hurtful that you’ve expressed something so personal and profound yet the other person didn’t respond in kind.

In the case of my college girlfriend she did say she loved me a few days later; shortly after that we broke up. I’m not sure if what I said made her nervous or scared but I do have a feeling it played a role. Hence why people should be careful in saying this phrase, it’s powerful. I don’t feel I was wrong in saying what I said, but it did change the whole tenor of our relationship and not in the best way. She did say she loved me, but I felt it was more out of a tit for tat thing rather than her actual feelings.

With my wife she didn’t reciprocate immediately because she was a little shocked. We had only been dating a short time, but I knew what I felt was love and shared it with her. She told me she loved me about a week later, she’d been so wonderful when I told her, explaining why she wasn’t ready to say the same yet as she’d just come out of a long-term relationship, but she knew how important it was that I had shared that. In this case it didn’t change the tenor of our relationship, it only enhanced it. We were already moving down this road and it only strengthened our bond.

Saying I love you is scary and I’m sure there are plenty of men who’d rather face a firing squad than say it. What you have to do is listen to yourself and your feelings and decide if this is what you are truly feeling or are you saying something to make the other person happy?

I think saying the actual words are important in a relationship and not just in the beginning. I love my wife much more now that we’ve been married for a long time and have a child together than when I first told her that I loved her. And I try and make sure I tell her often. I want her to know how I truly feel about her and how happy I am that we get to spend everyday together.

We do try and not say I love you when we don’t truly mean it. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve done something wrong or something doesn’t feel right. There’s a lull in the conversation and you just blurt out the words. It seems that those I love you’s are more about deflecting attention away from the problem at the moment and not truly showing how you feel about someone.

I don’t tell my wife that I love her multiple times a day, not because I’m a heartless bastard, but I feel that I should say that when I’m truly feeling it. Like I said earlier words are powerful, but if you use the same words over and over, the power within those words can be lessened. And love is such a powerful and wonderful thing that I don’t want to cheapen it by being an “I love you slut.”

What is that you ask? I’m glad you did.

An “I love you slut” is someone who says they love someone at the drop of a hat. They say it constantly and to many people in hopes of receiving those words for themselves. They say it so often that their loved one eventually tunes them out and doesn’t actually here the meaning in the words because they’re said so often. I don’t ever want my wife to feel that way about me and I know she feels the same way. Love is a wonderful and powerful thing and when we say we love each other we really do feel that the other person does.

I love my wife, a lot. And I tell her that I do, a lot. It’s a powerful way to express your love for someone and one of the greatest gifts you can ever give someone by saying how you truly feel.