I love flirting. It’s fun and harmless. It makes you feel good about yourself.
For many people, flirting's a bit intimidating. Even for me, it used to be quite nerve-racking to go up to someone that I thought was really cute and say something.
Yes, alcohol definitely helps with losing your fears, just as experience does. The more you do it, the less scary it becomes. Soon, it’ll just become something really fun to do and can make a dull affair turn into something a little more exciting. Here are just five tips to help you get going in the world of flirting.
Touching is encouraged.
One of the most important things about flirting is body language. I think this all comes down to basic animal instinct. After all, flirting is a sign that you are interested in the other party. Just like birds that perform a ritual dance when they have found their mate, we humans play this flirting game with our bodies.
This may be good news for those who were never that good with words, but it may also be something that is a bit new for others. I know that when I was in college, starting to flirt was extremely awkward, simply because I had never been the touchy-feely type of person – I hated giving hugs when I was younger. As time went by and I realized what worked and didn’t, body language was a lot easier to display. Like everything in the world, practice makes perfect.
I want to emphasize that you should touch, not grope. I can only speak from a female perspective, but guys definitely notice when you lightly touch them. Simply brush your fingers down his arm or lightly touch his leg. It might seem weird if you are thinking about it actively, but if you just go with the flow and do it slightly, it will come off as natural and help intensify the mood rather than placing an awkward block in the moment. I would also recommend any other way you can think of for touching the person – place your hand slightly on his shoulder, on his back, etc. Basically, any brush you have with the person will be taken as a positive sign that you are interested. In cases like this, just remember that a slight touch can say so much more than just talking forever.
I love it when guys focus on my hands. Playing with the hands is also a great flirting tactic. After all, holding hands is a nice feeling. Obviously, you won’t hold hands the first time you meet someone (unless you are meeting them in a club and want to lead them to some other place). But, holding the hands and playing with the fingers is always appreciated. To me, it’s a lot about how guys vary their pressure when holding and rubbing your hands. It feels good, and it is definitely a clear sign that the guy is interested.
Have a good conversation...with jest.
If a guy is interested, he will try to keep the conversation going. But usually in flirting, a lot of the conversation ends up teasing one another.
It’s perfectly fine to make small jokes and see where it takes you. I’m usually quite a sarcastic person, and while you don’t want to scare off your guy, I think a little sarcasm and teasing also helps gauge how sensitive the other person is.
Please don’t insult, but teasing will also help see if guy is overly sensitive. Putting the guy down actually also makes him try to do even better, especially if he likes you. He’ll want to impress you even more, so it’ll be fun to see what happens for the both of you.
Make sure to smile!
Guys like to see those pearly whites. But really, they like to see that you are enjoying your time. Similarly, it is easy to tell if a guy likes being with you by seeing whether he smiles or not. Teasing will help smooth over the time and increase smiling, especially because it’s usually humorous.
Be a good listener!
In my experience, guys also really like to talk when they are flirting. Perhaps they are trying to impress the women by trying to show how much they have to their names.
In any case, like in any other conversation, it’s important to just take some time and listen to the guy. If you keep on interrupting, it may give off an impression that you do not respect what he is trying to tell you. If you listen, it shows that you also care about everything he has to offer and that you are really interested in why he has to say.
Be expressive and stare into his eyes.
Girls, I’m sure you feel special when a guy is focusing his attention entirely on you by looking deep into your eyes. Similarly, guys will also feel special when you are looking at them. Your expressions, whether they be coy or alluring, will make a really big impression and leave him wanting to impress you more and get to know you more.
But before any flirting can even go on, you must approach the guy. I know this is the hardest part, because you are putting yourself out there. But, what is the worst that can happen? Just drop by, say “hi,” introduce yourself and you are good to go. Have fun and good luck!