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Confronting Pandora’s Box

Confronting Pandora’s Box
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I tried incorporating things into the sexual activities with my lost love. He unenthusiastically obliged and never gave it any full effort. It’s not something I want to ever feel like someone is doing only to satisfy me. I want them to do it because they enjoy it, as well.

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LilyLloyd  

I tried incorporating things into the sexual activities with my lost love. He unenthusiastically obliged and never gave it any full effort. It’s not something I want to ever feel like someone is doing only to satisfy me. I want them to do it because they enjoy it, as well.

Oh, me too, and the sense that my lover couldn't or wouldn't enjoy the things I found thrilling really tormented me.

Ultimately, I've come to separate my desire for a lover to *know* me, to know what makes me tick as an erotic being, from my desire for them to *do* wonderful, awful, terrible, delicious things to me.

I think with the former, we can and should expect a lover to be kind and loving when we make disclosures about our sexuality. We can't expect them to be interested in the same things we're interested in, now or over time. And if they're not, that's the hard part, because we have to decide if that's a big enough deal that we have to leave that relationship and find someone of a similar sexual stripe.

(I wrote about this very topic on my blog,The Black Leather Belt, just a few days ago.

04/04/2012

Being rejected, over and over, by your lover is such a soul-crushing experience. The emotional injuries are so slow that you can find yourself nearly destroyed before you realize how wounded you are. I am glad you escaped from that and found a way to move on.

04/04/2012

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