A Visit to “The Isle of Man”
So, you think you’re ready for an adventurous expedition to the land of butch? Never mind the genitals of the natives, the energy is unmistakable. That testosterone-driven burst of virility and potency takes your breath away, even as it fills you with the intoxicating desire to surrender to its muscular seduction. But don’t lose your head just yet. You still need new ways of thinking and behaving for your excursion into this mannish world of bold beefcake and stouthearted studs.
Pay attention to these seven key cultural concepts, and you will be assured of a pleasant visit!
1. Solutions Instead of Empathy
How many times have you asked him/her to stop trying to solve your problems and just listen?! This is an area many couples struggle with—and for good reason. Your macho mate has gotten a lot of strokes over the years for fixing things—whether something mechanical or simply logistical. He or she shines when solving problems. So when traveling to this vacation destination, you’ll win points with the natives if you show a modicum of appreciation before you start in on how you need to have your feelings validated.
Need a list of things to thank the Island of Machismo for? Well, here is just a small sample: Roads to drive on, cars to drive in, buildings to live and work in and technology for just about every problem looking for a solution: can openers, shovels, vacuums, dishwashers, hair dryers, microwaves, toilets, garbage disposals, air conditioners, heaters, hospital beds…and even sex toys!
Yes, your feelings ARE important and you DO need to have them validated, but don’t forget to express your gratitude for that impulse to fix before you remind him or her to stay focused on you and your feelings, instead of rushing to sweep you off your feet with solutions.
2. Ribald Humor
I know you hate those sexist jokes. (Does anyone really laugh at that stuff anymore?) And yet, there he/she is telling another tired tale sure to elicit groans and embarrassment. I won’t suggest you laugh out loud at these cheesy attempts at humor, but DO manage a smile for the adolescent effort to win you over. However misplaced, it really IS a nervous reaction to a fear that you won’t find him/her worldly enough, or exciting enough, or entertaining enough.
Enough for what?
Enough to want to have sex with him/her of course. Oh, did I forget to tell you? The Island of Machismo is all about convincing you to have sex—but don’t be dismayed. That’s just their way of saying: “You are welcome here!”
3. Action Instead of Contemplation
Where would history be without its heroes? And what makes a hero? A hero is someone who takes action without regard to personal safety. It takes courage to run INTO a burning building, which is exactly what fire fighters do. So, we honor them as real-life heroes, as well we should. But heroes come in a many sizes, shapes and descriptions. The bottom line: They take action when others stop to contemplate the hazards and/or self-interest.
Of course you want to “talk about it.” But, don’t forget to pay homage to our macho action heroes who save the day with their daring. Being a heroic hunk takes work and no matter how self-reliant the inhabitants of Machismo appear, their power is contingent upon your adoration and applause. And who knows? You might just find yourself in need of a hero someday.
4. Sex Before Intimacy
Tantric tradition tells us: “The way to a woman’s Sex is through her Heart, but the way to a man’s Heart is through his Sex.” Although a bit archaic, there’s a lot of truth in those words. The inhabitants of Machismo would rather have sex than just about anything else. Feeling down? Bored? Then the solution is, naturally … have more sex!
Now, you and I know life just isn’t that simple. Talking things out and sharing feelings is way more effective in the long run. But how do you think your stud is going to get to all those feelings and talking? By having sex with you of, course!
5. Hazing and Teasing as Bonding
We feminine types work hard to be accepted into the “good old boys’ network,” but too often, when we finally ARE inducted into the inner circle, we can’t take the heat. What appears as sexist, rude and undermining in out culture, is often EXACTLY how masculine members are accepted into male-dominated groups. Hazing, ridicule and blatantly rude remarks mean you are “one of the boys,” until you slap a sexual harassment lawsuit on them, that is.
DO NOT tolerate blatant sexism—such as lower wages or inappropriate touching—but if you want your visit to this foreign culture to be a snap, lighten up when it comes to being “polite.” This culture thrives on raw competition, so when packing for a visit, leave the politically correct outfit at home.
6. Competition Instead of Cooperation
Which brings us to the sixth key concept: If you think the world needs more cooperation and less competition, you won’t get any argument from me. But cultures don’t change overnight. While the locals of this island ARE learning more cooperative and communicative behaviors, they still LOVE the competitive side of life.
If you truly want to immerse yourself in this culture, then you would do well to indulge in a little healthy competition yourself. In fact, friendly competition can do wonders for flagging libidos, so try it and see if all that one-upmanship doesn’t spark a few fireworks.
7. Shared Activities
Chances are, your closest friendships are centered around sharing secrets. That is natural for your culture, but that isn’t how friends bond on The Isle of Machismo. Here, best friends share activities—and many of those shared activities seem to center around balls.
Might be because the natives spend a lot of time talking about their “balls?” I don’t know. But if a shared activity involves a tennis ball, basketball, football, golf ball, soccer ball, ping-pong ball, or any other kind of ball, you will be sure to make friends!
While playing with balls, it is acceptable to share some personal stuff—but nothing too heavy. Keep it light and stay focused on winning! When the game is over, you will sense a deeper bond and THAT is a more acceptable time to divulge a secret or two—but go slow. This isn’t a strong suit of this culture, and you don't want to make your time together appear too much like work.
If this vacation destination sounds like more work than it’s worth, don’t be discouraged. The pay-offs are many and varied. Once you get past some of the quaint customs, the residents of Machismo really are sweet and loveable underneath all that posturing.
Next month, we set sail for the Isle of Muliebrity (Womanhood)!