One imagines that just about the worst place a guy could have an unwanted, hours-long erection would be in the pokey.
Nonetheless, 30-year-old David Miller ended up on Rikers Island after attempting to rob his dad to get money for painkillers to relieve his condition, according to The Daily Mail. Miller has priapism, which causes prolonged and painful erections that have nothing to do with sexual thoughts or desire (and which loyal SexIs readers will remember from this creepy story.) He broke into his dad’s apartment brandishing a knife and said “I want you out and I want money.”
Miller’s dad, Tommy, called the police on his son, but also sounded sympathetic about David's condition, saying that medication for his condition caused him to become addicted to drugs. “My son has a very rare disease, he has a priapism, which means he gets an erection that lasts five or six hours, and it’s very painful,” he said. “They gave him oxycodone. That’s his problem. He’s addicted to drugs now.”
The Mail reports that “Miller has 11 prior arrests, for theft, assault, burglary, petit larceny, violating orders of protection, trespass and criminal possession of stolen property.”
So … we'd say he’s a hardened criminal, except that makes us feel like we're making light of what can obviously be a serious problem. We do hope Miller can ... straighten out his life? You know what we mean.