Remember appearances can be deceiving. We’re not concerned with frilly things (although these do sometimes play a part in native costuming), nor do we care if the inhabitants were born with or now possess female plumbing. What IS key is the energy—and nowhere else on earth is energy more important than on the Isle of Muliebrity.
1. Empathy Instead of Solutions
The indigenous peoples of Muliebrity excel in empathy. Employing intense eye contact combined with active listening creates an interaction that will leave you feeling fully seen, heard, validated and cared for. It isn’t unusual for the natives here to pamper and nurture you with hugs, a bowl of ice cream, or at least, a shoulder to cry on—literally.
2. The Art of the Polite Insult
As our modern culture chips away at polite behavior, you still find a more refined sensibility in feminine cultures. Passing gas from any orifice is generally frowned upon, and the old admonition to “Say nothing if you can’t say anything nice” still holds some sway. Unfortunately, it also leads to a major booby trap: You can’t always trust the nice things the natives say to your face. Sometimes an insult is buried in the compliment. If you don’t sense the put-down, you will lose even more dignity.
Remember the teasing and hazing that bonds the inhabitants of The Island of Machismo? This is a similar sport—only it’s the exact opposite. Instead of insulting someone directly, you undermine them behind their back.
To pass muster, visitors need intuition and an ability to read energy. The rules of the game require that you never openly acknowledge the slight. Instead, push back gently with assertive energy while wearing a smile.
How will you know if you have been accepted into the inner circle? Those who were insulting you while complimenting you will start insulting themselves instead. Now you will be expected to compliment them while insulting yourself. Interesting game, huh?
3. Think Before You Act … or At Least Afterward
If you are fortunate enough to make love to a Muliebrity native, you will doubtless hear these words as you lie in each other’s arms basking in the afterglow: “What are you thinking?”
Visitors to the Isle of Muliebrity often become flustered at this point. Resist the temptation to avoid this probing with the all too common, “Nothing.” This response is the ultimate insult. Your refusal to divulge your thoughts will be perceived as a dodge or a lie. So, if your brain truly is blank after sex, please learn to think. You’ll save yourself a lot of heartache. And who knows? You might even learn something about yourself in the bargain.
4. Cooperate Instead of Compete
Muliebrity is based on cooperation. Yes there IS some competition, and it can get ugly at times, but the fact remains that community and peaceful co-existence remain hallmarks of this friendly island. You would do well to let down your guard and lend a hand.
5. Share Your Stuff
You want a shortcut to the hearts of the natives of this feminine isle? Learn to share. They routinely share clothing, makeup, books, recipes, tools, sex tips ... the list is endless. It matters little if the things shared are essential to the recipient. It’s the gesture that counts.
6. Share Your Secrets
On the Island of Machismo, we learned to share activities in order to bond. On the Isle of Muliebrity we share secrets in order to bond. The unpracticed might feel they are sabotaging themselves with emotional vulnerability. If you’re familiar with the ways of machismo, you’ve probably invested a lot of time and energy in your image, so dismantling that in order to expose your fears and failings may seem just plain stupid.
What you may not realize is that exposing your soft underbelly requires far more courage than fronting and posturing. Sharing secrets is absolutely essential if you want to create trust with an inhabitant of Muliebrity. The payoff is more love and intimacy than you ever dreamed of.
7. Caution: Sex Ahead
You probably have heard these islanders say “yes” when they mean “no,” lead you on, want to make love instead of fuck, and rarely initiate sex.
It’s all true.
What? You thought I was going to disavow you of these stereotypes? Not a chance! Instead I want to enlighten you. There IS a reason Muliebrity culture tends toward contradictions.
First understand this little isle has suffered terribly. The inhabitants have been persecuted for centuries—burned at the stake and drowned for owning property, reading books, having sex with whomever they pleased, helping women give birth and speaking out against their own oppression. Believe it or not, they’ve had the right to vote for less than a hundred years.
In modern times the inhabitants are still subjected to unspeakable crimes and insults to their dignity. A high percentage of Muliebrites have been raped, molested or sexually harassed. Others have been labeled “slut” or “whore.” Even for those who’ve escaped these atrocities, the threat of being punished for pursuing sexual freedom remains. One need only observe what happens to other “bad girls” to get how dangerous sexual expression can be if you are female/feminine. Is it any wonder she/he is cautious?
So understand this: She/he DOES want sex but it CAN be a path laden with guilt, shame and fear—not to mention very real hazards. Even the fear of an unwanted pregnancy can dampen enthusiasm for sexual abandon. Approach sex with a Muliebrite as the huge act of defiance, and show of trust that it is and you will be a treated like a true friend. Yes, that probably will include sex. Now isn’t that worth it?