Not so long ago, we were shopping for some inexpensive rope at a major chain hardware store. Normally, we use a more expensive quality rope specifically for bondage. But in this case? We needed some inexpensive rope that we could use for some fun ties, and then cut it off with a knife mid-scene.
As we were wandering about the rope and chain aisle, discussing and comparing the cost verses pleasure ratios of twisted and braided nylon ropes; a salesman sidled up to us. He was a bit long in the tooth, and gave the specific impression that this was his after-retirement, part time gig. He greeted us warmly, and asked what we were looking for.
Barak said kindly but dismissively, “just looking at the attributes of a couple hanks of rope.” The clerk nodded sagely, and asked what the intended use was. Barak grinned and said, “I intend to tie her up with it,” indicating Sheba. The clerk didn’t bat an eye. He chuckled, and said, “Sure. Now, whatcha really gonna use it for?”
There are some circumstances where the truth, when said with enough levity, can go over more easily than an elaborate fabrication. We can site numerous times when we have been confronted with probing questions and answered them with the utmost truth, and a sly giggle; and have not been taken seriously.
For the most part, we are out of the kinky closet. Many people in our circles have a good idea about our lives. But this doesn’t mean we have an interest in sharing our penchants with anyone and everyone who asks. As a matter of fact, we prefer to conserve our sensibilities for those we care enough about to comprehensively explain the truth.
Our first desire is always to be truthful. But there is a difference between being honest, and hitting someone upside the noggin with it. We really aren’t interested in playing games of, “Shock the Vanilla.” An approach such as that certainly doesn’t endear people to kinksters. Plus, in this day and age, people tend to have enough on their plates without kinky fucks like us tearing off their rose colored glasses.
With that in mind, we tend to go with a system we have developed over years of trial and error. We like to call it the old, “Three Strikes and You’re Out” method. It is fairly easy to engage in this fashion. Hopefully, as we explain, you will get the gist of it. You may even find that you want to use it also. Please feel free – the patent is still pending.
The way it works is this: If someone thinks you are being evasive, or trying to hide something, they will go “digging for the dirt.” However, if you are direct and open without overly sharing there is a high probability that those seeking out drama will delve elsewhere.
Most often, when asked a question that will ultimately end in a kinky or shocking response, we initially start with a purposeful, yet potentially final, vague answer. If that “hint” goes unheeded, and they ask a further probing question, our response gets slightly more specific. However, it is said with the clear energy of “that’s all I’m going to say” and doesn’t reveal any detail that might be offensive. If then there is more interest, and/or continued prying, we throw the “Third strike pitch.” We will state something to the effect of, “If you ask, I will be completely truthful, and you probably don’t want that.” If they continue? We lay it out.
Let’s look at what this might look like in practice. When returning to work after a wonderfully kinky weekend at an event, a co-worker asks, “What didja do this past weekend?” This opens up the method. Our first thought might be: “Well, I went to a hotel with 400 other kinky fuckers, got tied up and spanked by my husband’s best friend, and then screwed silly.” In reality what we would say is, “We went out of town for a relationship seminar.” It’s quick, it’s closed ended, and completely truthful. We might even derail the conversation by starting another subject.
If this doesn’t work, their next question could be more of an inquiry. “Hmmm, interesting. A relationship seminar, eh? What was that all about?” Inner voice: “Well, we learned how to throw a whip, use leather restraints, do some impact play while pressed hard into a wall, and finally slap her genitals until they were swollen and juicy.” When actually answering though, we do our best to sound closed and matter of fact. “Actually, it was about different and new ways to communicate and share with my partner.” Again, utterly true and doesn’t leave much for discussion. As we are saying it, our body language stays friendly but not open to further discussion. At this point, if we don’t want to continue, we might do something that moves us away from the situation; e.g. answer a phone, make an excuse to leave, etc…
If there is a final cornering, one of two things can happen. The first is plain and simple, however may lead to some speculation, rumor, hard feelings and/or gossip. We may shut down the conversation completely with, “it’s not open for discussion.” Or we may deftly assuage hurt feelings with a gentle smile and polite but pointed change of topic. We may also simply turn and walk away.
But, if there is a sense they can handle it and are asking because they have some insight? And we are willing to share? We may offer that final warning. “If you really want to know? I will tell you. However the answer I give may shock you and may change our relationship. Are you sure you want to push this?” If their response is to charge on fearlessly? We then can open the floodgates and share whatever intimate details of our secret lives; secure in the knowledge that they were adequately warned.
In the end, how (or if) you share your details is up to you. We can say that we believe truth is funnier, if not stranger, than fiction. When given the opportunity to joke about our penchants, we certainly enjoy that — even if no one believes the truth of it. So wherever you are, or however you are approached? Use your common sense, and be gentle about it when faced with the vanilla inquisition. Because in reality, they want to live their dreams too. Theirs just may not include rope, leather and “relationship seminars.”