My God, people. You have really outdone yourself this month.

1. The most bad-ass motherfucking pants ever.

2. Okay, I don’t even know what to say here. Is this safe for work? Is it supposed to be sexual? Because I can’t even tell anymore.

3. Hand-sculpted…uh…fairy…porn?

4. “Jimi Hendrixes pubes got stuck in the mold because I didn't lube them enough.” My God, haven’t we all been there? Answer: No. We haven’t.

5. You will never see Miss Piggy in the same way again.

6. Oh Japan. Why can’t I quit you?

7. “My, what a big…dolphin face you have?”

8. Vulva perfume. Not perfume for your vulva. Perfume that smells like your vulva. I don’t understand it either.

9. Personalized voodoo penis.

10. Ninth Annual Masturbate-a-Thon. It’s like a telethon. But with even more wanking.

Bonus! I can’t even stop watching this. Seriously. It’s frightening and awesome all at once.