Being a mother is both the most rewarding and most exhausting thing I've ever done. I have the joy and honor of shaping the lives of those in my care and watching them blossom into their own person, but I'm also on call every hour of every day for several years past and many years to come. Motherhood is a huge joy and enormous responsibility. It's easy to get lost in the attention and stress that comes with it all and forget that moms are also sexual beings. Feeling maternal is fabulous, but moms also need to feel beautiful and sexy. Below is my list of what I do to feel my sexy best.
Drink. I mean water. If I don't drink enough water, I end up feeling slow, sluggish and tired, which sometimes turns to frustration and moodiness. Not a drop of sexy feeling there, is there? According to studies conducted by the University of Connecticut, even slight dehydration can cause headaches, difficulty concentrating, and changes in mood, especially in women. As a mom, it's so easy to forget to drink. Try drinking from a reusable water bottle that shows ounces or write down how many glasses per day you drink. Remember, by the time you feel thirsty, you are already dehydrated. If you don't like plain water, try adding some lemon or mix up a batch of cucumber water. It makes a big difference, so drink up!
Eat. The right foods make a world of difference. I'm not talking about slurping down oysters for their rumored aphrodisiac properties, but eating the right kind of foods to keep your body and brain in working order. Eating unhealthy foods contributes to sluggishness and depression, which in turn can contribute to low libido. If you're used to preparing, serving, and eating junk foods or highly processed foods, such a change can be daunting and your family may not be on board at first. Try gradually making changes. Trade those chicken nuggets and french fries for baked chicken breast and grilled veggies.
Take time. Find some time. Find anywhere you can. Twenty-minutes before the kids get up. Ten minutes before you go to bed. Hide in the bathroom. Even if you have to tell your family that the half an hour between such-and-such a time is yours, do it. Use it to meditate. Do some yoga. Have a cup of tea. Do something you truly enjoy. You'll feel more energized and happier, which of course can lead to feeling more sexy. Personally, I like to meditate, do yoga, sew, and read. When I get that time, I'm much more likely to feel sexy.
Make time. Remember when I wrote the article about the importance of making time for sex? The same applies here. Sometimes the only thing I need to feel sexy is to simply have my husband's attention in the bedroom. Finding the time for each other, especially in the early years of parenthood, can be a challenge, but it's so vitally important for both my husband and I to make sure that we are feeling sexy and being sexy for each other. Without it, it's easy to fall into a “I'm a parent and a parent only” rut.
Do something special. I find doing something pampering and out of the ordinary, for either just myself or my husband and I, helps us feel sexy. Taking a bath, lighting some candles, giving or receiving a massage all go a long way to helping us feel relaxed and important.
Move. Exercise helps sex-drive, and of course a healthy sex-drive leads to feeling sexy. Exercise increases blood flow and releases endorphins, and regular exercise may help dissolve feelings of physical inadequacy and increase stamina. Personally, I enjoy some dance cardio and body weight exercises. Any day where I've worked-out, I feel just a bit hotter than before, even if there is no outward difference.
Motherhood is not always easy and it can be tempting to ignore sexuality for more pressing matters. However, both the maternal life and sexuality are important. If you feel like you've started to lose some of your sexiness, try these tips and see if that doesn't make a difference.