What is it? What does it feel like?
Fisting is the insertion of a hand into either the vaginal or rectal canals. Woah! I know, right? A year ago, I was positive that fisting was firmly on my no list; it was just for porn stars and the really serious (crazy) BDSM folk. I'd happily let people beat me, stick needles in me, and I was even considering letting my Dom use electricity on me. Fisting, though? No way... until it happened.
My Dom and I both have very high sex drives, but we have some physical disabilities that get in the way of that. It is really common for us to have sex until our bodies can't handle it anymore, but we'll still be all worked up. At that point, we either enact a 10 foot rule (stay 10 feet away from each other), or we end up with a lot more manual and oral play.
One day when this happened, I was really worked up. He started fingering me, and two fingers soon became three. I wanted more, so three became four. At that point, I knew where this was heading; four became five. We couldn't get his knuckles past my pelvic bone, but I was pushed over the top when he used his fingers to start gently caressing me. (He has very long hands.)
Fisting, done well, is hitting every good spot you knew you had, and some you didn't even realize were there, all at once. I mean it -- all at once. You're filled, stretched, and being massaged.
It was slow, and there was a huge build up. It was toe-curling amazing.
You'll get hurt!
There are risks associated with fisting. Don't just take my word here; research the risks for yourself. There are a ton of great sites on the internet with information about this. Just remember to look out for bias sites, though. Fisting is associated with homosexuality, so organizations that are against gay and lesbian sex may not have accurate information on this subject.
Most of the risks associated with fisting are due to improper preparation and poor communication.
1. Tearing: This happens because of a lack of both communication and preparation. The best way to avoid this is to take things slow. Also, remember to communicate with each other. Make sure that you don't increase anything until the receiver is ready. The receiver has to be really into it for it to be done properly. Both the vaginal and rectal canals relax and become more elastic when the person they're attached to is aroused and into what is being done. Also, remember the lube -- lots of it, and then add more. Put the lube everywhere; put it between fingers, on the back of the band, and inside where the hand is going.
2. Infection: Sex is often spontaneous, but fisting needs a clean start. Wash up before you fist your partner, and wear latex or nitrile gloves.
3. Cuts: All fingers need to have nails trimmed and buffed beforehand.
Fisting is done by making a duck bill shape with the hand. Once the hand is fully inserted, the hand can then be moved into a fist shape.
Fisting and BDSM
We often engage in fisting during our BDSM play, but fisting doesn't have to go along with other kinks. There is a symmetry of power to fisting that is highly erotic for us. My Dom is in aw of my body and highly toned muscles, and yet I feel like I am at the mercy of his hand. We both feel powerless and in control at the same time, which is hot for us.
Fisting and kink have been lumped together for a long time, but there is nothing about fisting that makes it inherently a part of BDSM play. It is as much a BDSM act as oral sex is; it can be rough and scary, but it doesn't have to be.