My husband and I do not usually make New Year’s Resolutions. We do not smoke, drink, or need to lose weight, all of which are some of the most common New Year’s Resolutions out there. However, this year we decided to make a goal to spend more sexual time together as a couple month after month throughout the year.

To do this takes some effort on my part because I have to be willing to see myself as the beautiful woman my husband sees. I'm taking small steps to help raise my self confidence level for the benefit of both of us. I feel if we break each month up into goals the overall result will be better than just flat out saying I am going to be more intimate this year. If we fail one month, it’s not like the whole resolution is lost, because we can try harder the next month.

Staying intimate isn’t a very easy task because my husband works full time and is currently enrolled in graduate school classes online as well as working around the sleep schedules of our two small children. I am a full time stay-at-home mom who not only takes care of the home, finances, and school events for our oldest son, but also the taxes for my husband’s small computer repair and networking business.

With that being said, we are a very busy family and sometimes after a busy day, the last thing either my husband or I want to do is make time to be intimate with each other. We have been in the habit of just going to sleep after the kids go to sleep, and this year I mentioned we needed to do something about that and make more time together.

I am sure we will have days when we don’t feel like being intimate with each other, but if we try our hardest to be with one another, I think it will be a good thing. I am not saying we are going to take the fun out of having sex by having everything mapped out and planned ahead of time, but more like an open-ended bonding that we need to do to keep our relationship fresh and alive. I do not want to get our marriage and sex life in a rut where we become bored with each other.

To help with this goal, I have incorporated adding lingerie to our intimate sessions. I have always loved lingerie and actually own several pieces, but previously I never made the time to actually wear them on a consistent basis. I know my husband is a very visual person and greatly appreciates when I go to the trouble of wearing lingerie for him, so this is something that I am working very hard on.

To get myself in the right frame of mind, I have been trying to accept myself for who I am, and not be so critical of myself and my perceived flaws. My husband does not see these flaws. He understands I've given birth to his two children and considers me beautiful just the way I am. I am always more critical of myself than I am of others, and even though I have a wonderful man telling me he believes I’m beautiful, it has been hard to come to that conclusion myself. Therefore, by wearing lingerie to please my husband, I am also making small steps to feel better about myself. Who knew that lingerie would allow me to go from sweet, sexy, or sassy in a matter of a simple clothing change? Being able to have lingerie that matches my mood is wonderful, and I think it keeps my husband very satisfied because he never knows which personality trait will come out that day.

So far, we are toward the end of January and our goal is doing well this month. We are finding time to spend with each other instead of focusing our attention on video games, or books, or going off to sleep as soon as the kids are asleep. I am very guilty of that crime in the past because it is tiring running after a three year old all day, while trying to remain some semblance of a house when you’re running on very few hours of sleep.

I am glad my husband and I have tried working on this fun sexy goal together to make 2013 a more loving, intimate year for us. I feel it can only strengthen our relationship with each other and we both can benefit from the care and attention we are giving each other.