In vagina news, former Miss USA Susie Castillo says the TSA couldn't stop touching hers. Castillo says she opted out of the body scan because she travels a lot and was concerned about the radiation. But when she submitted to the new and improved pat down, she got more than she bargained for.

“[The TSA agent] actually felt, touched my vagina,” Castillo said. “I completely feel violated; this woman touched my vagina four times.”

And while we'll concede that four times is a bit much, we're still wondering how people can not know about this new, invasive procedure TSA implemented last year. Or maybe it's that they didn't think it would be as bad as it is? Who knows?

In any case, as usual, TSA has “reviewed this passenger's screening experience” and decided the agent “followed proper procedures.” And they still maintain “There's nothing punitive about it— it just makes good security sense.”

Don't worry. the TSA's more than happy to take constructive criticism of their new procedures, too! And promptly search you for suspicion of terrorism. Because only a terrorist wouldn't want their genitals touched by a stranger in the name of security.