“I think the honesty not only shines through in my work, but also my personal life. And I get in trouble for being honest. I'm extremely old-fashioned. I'm a nobleman. I'm chivalrous."

You probably wouldn't guess that line came from Charlie Sheen. Or maybe, if you know as much as we do about just how much Charlie loves himself, you would. We weren't overly surprised. Charlie hasn't changed much.

But what's “Wild Thing” in the news for this time? His relationship with two beautiful, buxom blonds who say they love Charlie, and each other, and would do anything for his twin boys. And Charlie is more than a little confident that his family is the most perfect family in existence. “It's perfect. It's awesome. Every day is filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.”

However, his family got a little smaller yesterday, at least for a while. Yes, the blonds are still there--but Max and Bob, his 23-month-old twin sons, were taken away by police yesterday. A protracted custody battle with estranged wife Brooke Mueller seems inevitable.

Charlie! We were kidding about giving Hef a run for his money! We wouldn't dream of telling you how to live your life. But the legal system isn't as easy to get along with as we are.