Looking for a little sexual healing? Stop on down to the Phoenix Goddess Temple in Phoenix, Ariz., and you can be healed by gods and goddesses.

They call it “touch healing” and they offer their services to victims of sexual abuse for a “religious offering" of $204 to $650 per session. A Phoenix New Times reporter was lucky enough to be allowed inside to watch a couple of “touch healer” William Clayton's “trauma healing sessions,” and see what it's all about.

When asked to describe what was going on after a demonstration session, Clayton said, “The start with the sarong was awakening my skin. We were developing a relationship, when I started to feel tingling sensations of yin-yang balance. Then she sent meridians up and down my spine to move internal energy better, and we had chakra-to-chakra contact.”

Yeah ... We're not sure either. But if you guessed it sounds a lot like one of those massage parlors that provides happy endings for its gentlemen callers, well, law enforcement in Phoenix is thinking that way, as well. Referring to the prices charged by the gods and goddesses for sexual healing, James Hays, assistant city attorney for Phoenix, says, “They're skating on thin ice, so they need to make money to hire a lawyer when the house of cards comes tumbling down.”