Believe it or not, 33 percent of the American population would rather give up sex for a week than give up their phone. In other news, 33 percent of people must not be having very good sex.

Seriously: a TeleNav survey, reported on by Mashable.com, says a third of people would give up sex for a week rather than part with their cell phone. Seventy percent would give up alcohol and 63 percent would give up chocolate (Really? Chocolate over booze? Who did they survey, Augustus Gloop?)

In the smart phone user breakdown, iPhone users lead the pack in those who would rather go for a week without seeing their partner than their phone— 28 percent of them compared to 23 percent of Android users and 18 percent of Blackberry users. Android users boasted the highest percent of loathsome cowards—those who admitted using text, email, voice mail, Facebook or Twitter to end a relationship —with 18 percent as opposed to 15 percent of Blackberry users and 10 percent of Apple users. Sixty-six percent of smart phone users sleep with their phone next to them.

Weirdly, another survey came out, this one by Bionsen deodorant, reported on Shine, saying that 57 percent of women would rather ditch their partners than go without makeup.

That one seems doubtful because it also says the average woman spends $164,000 on makeup in her lifetime. Who were they surveying? Clowns?

Anyway, we doubt you’re likely to give up nookie for mascara and texting. Why? Because you’re reading SexIs. Kind of a giveaway.