"I don't look like Mary-Kate Olsen or Nicole Richie. I'm all black and I'm all woman, baby. I have hips, curves, butt and boobs. I will always be bigger. There are tons of other women and people out there that share my same body type."
The media wants me to be thinner. Looking at a magazine or turning on the TV will show you that, but I know I will never be that thin and I do not want to be. While I might not particularly like them, I love seeing the Kardashians in the media. You see people saying how beautiful and sexy they are, and those women really are sexy. They know it and they show it. When they are on the cover of a magazine or on TV, they are showing women (and especially young girls) that having real curves can be sexy. Looking at those women, you can see that they actually eat and are the size of “normal” women. Beyonce is another great example of a woman with curves whom the media loves. This makes me so happy; it shows that there might be a chance after all that the media will stop “pressuring” us to be stick skinny.
I have never been overly confident about my body. I was born with the lovely genetics of wide hips and small waist. Sounds great, right? Not when you are, by media’s standards, overweight. I have wide hips, hips that are too wide because of my weight, and the same goes for my waist line. I want to feel sexy too and in the winter, I get to bundle up and hide the unwanted extra curves. The summer time is another thing altogether and I finally found something this year that makes me much more confident in my body. I have started wearing longer summer dresses.
Sure, I want to get fit and lose those extra pounds. But, in the mean time, wearing these dresses makes me feel more confident and sexy. They let me hide my thighs, unlike the short shorts the media and society in general like women to wear. They show my figure, wide hips and smaller waist, but they show it in a way that doesn’t make me look in the mirror and frown.
My boyfriend is a personal trainer and that makes me feel less than confident when I am naked next to him. Of course, he is always reassuring me that I am sexy and beautiful, but that doesn’t always make a girl feel better inside or outside the bedroom. The first time my boyfriend saw me in one of my summer dresses I saw his eyes pop out of his head. We have been together for a year and a half and this is the first time I have ever seen that expression. I could tell then and there that it was not only me that thought I looked sexier in a summer dress.
I have never worn many colors and when I do they are not bright in any means. I always stuck to blacks and darker grays, which are more slimming for my figure. However, when I bought my new summer dresses, I bought some brighter colors. While the colors make me stand out a little more, I am comfortable with it. More people look at me now, and not in a bad light. It makes me feel so much better about myself and I finally feel sexy. I still have some work to do before I put on a bikini but in the mean time I feel 110% more comfortable in my own skin.